Conor writes about Intentional Leadership and Building Self Belief in those around you
A short story from the mountains about how removing drag can be more effective than increasing power. Many times we could improve our life by cleaning up the things we do that actively damage ourselves: eating poorly, drinking too much, complaining, remaining angry, holding grudges, positioning myself as a victim.
What do you think? What’s your biggest “drag”?
A big part of Vistage group meetings is working through a CEO’s challenges and helping them get clarity about how they can move forward with their business and their life.
We often find that the biggest obstacle to forward progress is not outside of us, but inside of us.
We also call these “Core Self-Limiting Beliefs”. They are learnt. We are not born with these fears. There are only 2 fear that we are born with: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Every other fear has been learnt. (This does not make them less real or easier to deal with).
These 4 fears will drive a grasping towards something that will never fill me. If I am looking for completion outside of myself, I will never scratch my itch. I need to learn to be able to sit with my fear and anxiety and accept it and accept that I am human and imperfect.
Each of the fears can be accepted and allowed to exist within me. They will never go away. They will always be there, but I can accept them and not allow them to direct my actions and my words.
“Your ability to communicate with others will account for fully 85% of your success in your business and in your life.”
Brian Tracy
Imagine being paid well to travel the world and share your message with people that want to hear you speak?
If something in that question resonates, this post might be helpful.
Today, over 50% of my income comes from delivering keynote speeches and workshops to industry conferences and corporate leadership teams. It has taken over 16 years from my earliest free speeches towards a career where I can live from speaking. I have delivered over 2,500 hours of keynotes and workshops to over 50,000 participants.
In terms of quality, my recent 100 hours of speaking are astronomically better than those first 100 hours… but everyone has to begin. How do you begin?
Step 1:
Your fees depend more on you being (and perceived) as an expert than on how well you actually speak.
Maybe you can be paid well even if you don’t master anything, but if you are not on the path to mastery… I personally would rather you stayed home. If you are planning on being paid to speak, make a deep and lasting commitment towards true mastery.
There are 3 types of Expert speaker.
A well paid speaker needs to be seen as a thought leader. The classic path is to write and publish a book, but in today’s world there are new paths: build a large youtube, instagram, or blog following. Pick one and start producing thought. I suggest that you use your blog not for sharing expert articles, but sharing your learning journey. When you write expert articles, it is much more valuable to submit them to highly credible sites (depends on your segment, but for me this would be HBR, Forbes, Inc, FT, Big Think).
Are you on a path towards being a true expert? Have you chosen whether you are a results expert, a research expert or a role model? Good… now we move to step 2.
Step 2.
and lots…
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
Albert Einstein
This blog is full of material about speaking well so I will not repeat. Some good articles on speaking well:
Learn directly from expert speakers. Rather than paying for a course on public speaking, pay to go and see well paid expert speakers deliver their keynotes. I learn more watching how a great speaker plans, prepares, delivers, follows up than by reading books or courses on speaking. In february I asked Luis Soares Costa to run a retreat for Vistage. I watched how he interviewed me, how he clarified what we needed and what we could do… I travelled with him the day before and watched how he prepared the room and himself for the 2 day retreat. I learnt more watching what he did and how he did it than by asking him for tips.
Here are 5 ideas for those who wish to make speaking a profession:
Step 3.
…with the people that matter.
Be very careful who you take feedback and praise from. Only other speakers and people who pay for speakers count. Do not rely on friends, toastmaster club mates, family. They will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.
The best speaker referrals are other great expert speakers. When a conference has success with a speaker, they will ask that speaker to come back. They will also ask that speaker for recommendations. When another speaker gives your name as a referral, this is the most powerful marketing. I get more opportunities from other professional speakers than from any other source. Build a good reputation with this group.
A blog is interesting, but it is not a path to expert credibility. Articles on Forbes, HBR, Inc are more valuable than articles posted on your own blog.
Testimonials from conference organisers, other professional speakers and people who have paid you are the most valuable resource for credibility.
Put some of your speaking on YouTube. It is such a powerful tool to share your message, and in a format that people can see your quality.
It is not enough to be an expert, you must become known as the expert. Some people become “The” expert – their name is so closely linked to a category that an event is not “The” event if they are not speaking. Jim Collins has built that level of personal brand in the business leadership category. Marshall Goldsmith in the business coaching category, Tony Robbins in the personal development category. They can multiply their fees by 100 because their name alone sells half the tickets.
My good friend Raul Aguirre’s TEDx talk (The Hidden Secret of Success) is about how to create a unique category for yourself. It is hard to be the best business school professor in the world, but I can combine 3 categories: Great business school professor (IESE) who also has a massive following on YouTube and also is the expert on the role and challenges facing CEOs (Vistage). When I put IESE + YouTube + Vistage together, nobody else can compete.
There are many experts sitting in bars sharing their wisdom for free with people who don’t want to hear. It is not enough to be an expert, and it is not enough to be known as an expert – you must become a professional. Professionals know the value of their time.
It took me several years to be comfortable with the following actions, but you must if you are to have the resources to be able to really make an impact with your message.
There are 4 things that can differentiate the wealthy expert speaker from the non-wealthy expert speaker:
These 4 actions were inspired by a video from Brandon Burchard. Brandon advises others on how to become well-paid experts.
Are you a paid speaker? What other tips would you give to someone thinking about this path? I plan to update this resource a few times with more materials and tips over the coming months.
This video is about paying attention in the process of learning, and trusting the process.
If I am judging everything, I am judging from today’s level of mastery… and blocking my progress. It is so difficult to remember that I don’t see more than what I am capable of seeing.
Shoshin is a chinese word that means “open mind” – a mind that is open to possibility rather than constantly analysing everything that is presented to me (through the prism of my current level of expertise).
Here’s a video about Nudibranches…
I have a lasting interest in how people make good decisions, especially when many people are involved, and many people are affected by the decisions.
Currently reading the book “Crucial Conversations“. Towards the end of the book, there is a section on moving from a dialogue towards concrete actions. The authors say that there are 4 methods of decision making.
When choosing which way to decide there are four questions to ask:
If everybody is responsible, nobody is responsible. Great teams assign clear individual responsibilities and hold people to their commitments.
This week’s video comes from Champery in Switzerland where I have been part of the faculty for a leadership program for the Avanade company. One of the other faculty is a Leadership Coach called Kris Girrell. He shared a simple 4 part structure for a Coaching Conversation.
In his TEDx talk, Kris shares a wonderful idea – the “Emotional Table of the Elements” – in which he created a someone tongue in cheek copy of the Periodic Table replacing atoms with emotions. I love the metaphor. Check out his TEDx talk below:
Knowing how to respond to others’ emotional states is the essence of Emotional Intelligence. But how do we actually learn it? Executive leadership coach Kris Girrell suggests that sometimes the path to becoming intimately aware of our emotions may be a little bumpier than we bargained for, but in the end, results in stronger relationships.
Kris is an executive leadership coach, co-owner of the Goddard Preschool in Reading, and author of A Married Man’s Survival Guide.
If you liked this post, you will also like The Greatest Coaching Question of All Time and 6 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day to be a Great Leader.
Most people who get paid have a job. A job is where someone pays you to do something that they don’t want to do. A career is where someone pays you because you are awesome at something valuable.
In order to build a career you need a couple of things:
I share a story from Neil Gaiman… it is worth your 19 minutes to watch his full commencement address below ;-). I also make reference to the book “So Good they Can’t Ignore You” by Cal Newport.
Neil Gaiman’s commencement address: “Make Good Art”
Here’s a short summary from OpenCulture: 10 Essential Tips for Working in the Arts
And you? Career or Job? If you liked reading this, you will also like The Career Advice you probably didn’t Get and Career Advice from LinkedIn’s founder Reid Hoffman.
NPR have a wonderful speech database with over 350 great commencement speeches on their resource The Best Commencement Speeches, Ever
Excluding prepositions and other super-common words, the most frequent words appearing in this database of Great Commencement Speeches were:
Source: The Top Words of Wisdom for Graduates on NPR, (accessed 7 May 2019)
This list was put together by my father, Terry Neill, in the 1980’s as a reminder for himself and those around him about the nature of good leadership, and the easy pitfalls of Non-Leadership. He led businesses through good times and through tough times and I can see the positive impact he has had on many who worked with him.
He was recently cleaning out some papers in his office and found this and shared it with me and my siblings. I find it simple and clear. Leadership is not easy, but it is necessary in all areas of our lives.
You do not need to wait for power, nor permission nor position to decide to act like a leader. You decide to take responsibility and begin. You realise that each of your actions make a difference. You are connected to many people and your actions have impact. You will affect more than 1,000 people over the course of your life. If you have a positive affect on them, they in turn are connected to more than 1,000 people and your leadership will ripple out and touch over 1,000,000 lives. These 1,000,000 lives are connected out to 1,000 in their turn… and your small daily actions of leading and taking responsibility to make things better will ripple out to a billion people. Your actions matter.
by Terry Neill, partly based on “Search for Excellence“
| LEADERS | NON-LEADERS |
| Carries water for people | Presides over the mess |
| A coach appealing to the best in each person; open door; problem solver and advice giver; cheerleader | Invisible – gives orders to staff – expects them to be carried out |
| Thinks of ways to help people be more productive, more focused on practicval goals and how to reward them | Thinks of personal awards, status, and how he or she looks to outsiders |
| Comfortable with people in their workplaces | Uncomfortable with people |
| Wants anonymity for self, publicity for practice of others | The reverse |
| Often takes the blame | Looks for a scapegoat |
| Gives credit to others | Takes credit. Complains about lack of good people |
| Gives honest, frequent feedback | Info flows one way – into his or her office |
| Knows when and how to deal with non performers or unfair clients’ comments or pressures | Ducks unpleasant tasks |
| Goes where the trouble is – to help | Interrupts people in crisis and calls them to meetings at his or her desk |
| Has respect for all people | Thinks operators, clerical staff etc are lazy, incompetent ingrates |
| Knows the business, and the kind of people who make it tick | They’ve never met him or her |
| Honest under pressure | Improvises, equivocates |
| Looks for controls to abolish | Loves new controls |
| Prefers eyeball to eyeball instead of memos | Prefers memos… long reports |
| Straightforward | Tricky, manipulative |
| Admits own mistakes. Comforts others when they admit them | Never makes mistakes. Blames others. Starts witch hunts to identify culprits |
| Openness | Secrecy |
| Little paperwork in planning | Vast paperwork in planning |
| Arrives early. Stays late | In late. Usually leaves on time |
| Common touch | Strained with shop or office floor |
| Good listener | ‘Good’ talker |
| Simplistic on organisation values | Good at demonstrating his/her command of all the complexities |
| Available | Hard to reach from below |
| Fair | Fair to the top. Exploits the rest |
| Decisive | Uses committees. Makes accountabilities opaque |
| Modest | Arrogant |
| Tough – confronts nasty problems | Elusive – “the artful dodger” |
| Persistant | Only when his/her goodies are at stake |
| Simplifies (makes it look ‘easy’) | Complicates (Makes it look difficult) |
| Tolerant of open disagreement | Intolerant of open disagreement |
| Knows people’s names | Doesn’t know people’s names |
| Has strong convictions | Vacillates when a decision is needed |
| Trusts people | Trusts words and numbers on paper |
| Delegates whole important jobs | Keeps all final decisions |
| Keeps promises | Doesn’t – unless it ‘suits’ |
| Thinks there are at least 2 other people who would be better at his/her job | Number one priority is to make bloody sure no one remotely gets near to being a threat |
| Focused to the point of monomania on values and ethical principles | Unfocused except on self |
| Sees mistakes as learning opportunities | Sees mistakes as punishment opportunities |
| Does ‘dog work’ when necessary | Above ‘dog work’ |
| Consistent and credible with the troops | Unpredictable. Says what he thinks they want to hear |
Father of 4 wonderful children and Grandpa to 9 grandchildren.
In his 30 year career with Accenture/Andersen Consulting he was based in Dublin, Chicago and London. He was Chairperson of Andersen Worldwide and Accenture; and was worldwide managing partner of the Change Management Practice.
He returned to Ireland in 2005 and was a Director of Bank of Ireland Group, UBM (the world’s biggest events company) and CRH plc. He is chairperson of the National Council of Wexford Festival Opera.
He is a maths/physics graduate of Trinity College Dublin. He was for 13 years a Governor of London Business School, where he had also gained his MBA. He is a member of both the Board of Trinity Foundation and the Trinity Arts & Humanities Governance Board. He was chairperson of Co-operation Ireland (GB) and Camerata Ireland, Barry Douglas’s all island chamber orchestra.
If you enjoyed reading this post, you will also like What is Leadership? and 17 daily habits for a fulfilling life.
“If you have a dream and you know all the tasks required to achieve the dream, you don’t have a dream… you have a task. A dream is something you don’t yet know how you will be able to accomplish”
Alden Mills
Alden Mills spent several years as a Navy Seal commander, before launching the fastest growth product business (#1 in INC magazine) as a entrepreneur. He has just published his second book: Unstoppable Teams.
Leadership is determined by your ability to build and lead teams. Leadership’s greatest challenge is attracting great people and placing them into teams that are equipped to solve problems, overcome hurdles, and simply do more. Alden shares the 4 pillars he uses to develop Unstoppable Teams.
Alden has spent many years helping himself and the teams around him overcome huge obstacles. He has a wealth of experience in building great teams – military, entrepreneurial… and family. This is an infographic from Alden Mills on the 7 traits that make for unstoppable team members.
I had the privilege of working with Alden to prepare this TEDx talk that he shared at IESE Business School last year.
Unstoppable Teams show managers how to inspire, motivate, and lead the people around them. Mills draws on stories from his own experiences to impart these surprising team-building lessons:
