Many “achievement-oriented” individuals do the next task… but Stephen Covey says there is a better way…
If you liked this post, you will also like Getting your Life in order or Build Strong Foundations.
Many “achievement-oriented” individuals do the next task… but Stephen Covey says there is a better way…
If you liked this post, you will also like Getting your Life in order or Build Strong Foundations.
“Most people I know have problems with Internet addiction” Paul Graham, writing in 2010.
Paul Graham wrote an essay on “Addiction” back in 2010. It is even more relevant today, 14 years later.
Everything that is good… has been developed by humans and technology to get steadily better… at capturing and holding our attention. Food that was “good” in the paleolithic… fruits… has become insanely “good” today – chocolate, sweets, sugar. Television of 1960’s (3 channels) has become Netflix, Virtual Reality, interactive immersive video games of today. Everything that you can just about manage today will get more addictive, more sweet, more engaging. The evolution of our brain to stay focussed when surrounded with enticing distraction will not happen as fast as the increase in addictiveness.
Willpower alone will not ever be enough. We need to take active control of what stimuli get our attention.
Have a read of Paul Graham’s essay on Addiction.
I found footnote 4 really powerful…
“People commonly use the word ‘procrastination’ to describe what they do on the Internet. It seems to me too mild to describe what’s happening as merely not-doing-work. We don’t call it procrastination when someone gets drunk instead of working.”
Paul Graham
Somehow it is forgivable and understandable for someone to get distracted by the internet when they have a project to complete or a task they have committed to complete in a certain time.
Getting drunk and driving is not called “distraction” or “silly him… he’s always struggled a little with his drink”… it is called “criminal negligence”.
Having a task that you have committed to complete and allowing yourself to be distracted by the internet… we call it “procrastination”. Maybe it should also be changed to something that really captures what is happening. He is being
Maybe these words would cause people to sit up and realise that they don’t have a problem with “procrastination”. They have a problem with life.
If you liked this post, you will also like 3 Lessons on Focus from Dandapani and I Can’t Focus. How to Learn to Focus.
David Brooks is a columnist at the New York Times. His recent column “The Essential Skills for Being Human” has inspired this week’s video and post.
I loved his book “The Social Animal” – which is a novel-like story about the lives of 2 people and how their values and actions shape their lives. It reminded me of another book that had a powerful impact on me, Somerset Maugham’s “The Razor’s Edge”.
If you liked this post, you will also like Getting your Life in order and Set Goals of Character and Ability, not of Achievement and Status.
One of the lessons I took from ancient myth: Heroes always sacrifice something:
There are few shortcuts for the most important things in our lives – health, relationships, a beautiful home, meaningful work on problems you care about
Are you willing to pay the price?
If you liked this post, you will also like Set Goals of Character and Ability, not of Achievement and Status and Do you have Inspiring Goals?.
The greatest distance in the universe… is within us. It is the distance between our potential and our actual performance.
When we are young, we have so much potential: talents, dreams, and capabilities. Most of these possibilities remain just that – potential, unmanifested and untapped. It is horrible to look at the chasm between what we could potentially achieve and what we actually do.
“Actions speak louder than words.”
Intentions are the seeds of every great deed, but only action has the power to change the world.
Good intention with no action is like a car that never leaves the garage. It might be comfortable to sit in, but it’s going nowhere.
So, how do we bridge this gap? It starts with self-awareness, the courage to act, and the acceptance that most action steps are very small.
There is an old story of a person trapped on the roof of a building as floodwaters are rising.
A boat passes and the occupants shout “come down, we’ll take you to safety”. The person says “No, God will save me”.
Another boat passes. The occupants shout “come down, we’ll take you to safety” The person says “No, God will save me.”
The floodwaters rise and the person drowns. At the gates of heaven the person asks God “why didn’t you save me?” and God replies “I sent you two boats, why didn’t you accept my help?”
Passive Patience is waiting for what you want.
Active patience is preparing yourself to be maximally prepared to find the right types of opportunity, and to have the skills, resources and network to really make use of the opportunity when it finally comes.
Inspired by Shane Parrish of Farnham Street blog:
Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who made significant contributions to our understanding of the human psyche. He was a former student and colleague of Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, but they eventually parted ways due to major disagreements in their theories.
Carl Jung devoted his life to studying the human mind, seeking to understand the factors that influence human behavior and personality.
Carl Jung’s model of the human psyche can be imagined as an iceberg.
The tiny tip above the water represents the conscious mind, the portion underwater that is still visible symbolises the personal unconscious, and the vast, unseen expanse beneath the surface embodies the collective unconscious.
The collective unconscious, personal unconscious, and conscious mind are all interconnected and each play an important role in how we experience life.
The collective unconscious, also known as the objective psyche, refers to structures of the unconscious mind shared among beings of the same species. It is a repository of ancestral experiences.
According to Jung, the collective unconscious contains archetypes, which are universal, archaic patterns or images that derive from the collective repeated experiences of our ancestors. These archetypes are innate and inherited, not acquired from personal experiences. They include themes such as birth, death, power, parenthood, and childhood, which are reflected in our myths, religions, dreams, and fantasies.
The collective unconscious profoundly influences our behavior, attitudes, dreams, and emotions, though we are often unaware of its impact. It’s the reason certain symbols, myths, and motifs are prevalent across different cultures and historical periods.
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung proposed the idea of archetypes as universal, inborn models of people, behaviours, or personalities. They serve as the foundation for our understanding and experience of the world. The four primary Jungian archetypes are the Self, the Shadow, the Anima/Animus, and the Persona.
While the primary archetypes represent internal aspects of the self, the 12 character archetypes reflect diverse ways these basic aspects may manifest in our behaviours and attitudes. We each have an innate sense of the type of story we seek to live. If we can understand and accept our nature, we can create a life that is deeply meaningful for ourselves.
Jungian archetypes provide a mirror to our inner selves, allowing us to deepen self-understanding, lead others and communicate authentically.
If you haven’t already done these tests, I’d suggest that they are best place to start to gain an understanding of your own personal character orientation.
The Enneagram, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), DISC, and the Big Five (OCEAN) are all tools that seek to understand and categorise our personality traits.
It’s January. New year is a time for reflection on how life is going… and often to make changes.
Here are 3 reasons why I see people fail at behaviour change:
If you liked this post, you will also like the guide to behaviour change and Managing Oneself.
It is not what we do on our best day that will truly make an impact on the quality of our lives, it is the habit we can stick to on our worst day that will make a lasting difference.
For the last 2 years, I have joined a strava monthly 100kms run challenge every month. I have achieved it every month except february 2022.
One important lesson I have taken from this 2 year journey: the day I really don’t feel like going out and running… but somehow I get out and run anyway… these runs make the biggest difference to my life.
Once or twice a week I wake up and really do not feel like putting on my sports gear and running… I wake up tired and with low energy… and all I want to do is sit in a comfy seat with an extra coffee. These days a run really shifts my energy.
My friend Julio recently shared with me a story from his swim training. Some days the coach has them racing to have the quickest time overall. However, sometimes the coach has them swim 8 times 100 meters… and the winner is not the fastest overall… the winner is the one with the least variation between each of the 100 meter times. This training is to really encourage a focus on consistent swimming speed… not fast when you are fresh… and slowing as you tire.
This story reminded me of the importance of consistency.
On the Tim Ferriss podcast last week, I heard him speak with Neil Gaiman, the author. They spoke about habits. Neil said that the best writing is the same writing day over and over again; same place same time same process… no changes between one day and the next… an extreme focus on repeating the same day.
The other idea I loved was Neil Gaiman’s one writing rule for himself. When he is at his writing desk, he allows himself to do one of two things: write, or do nothing.
This rules allows his inner saboteur a choice… he doesn’t “have to” write.
Neil has learnt that the “do nothing” choice can be appealing in the short term… but it always becomes more and more boring… and writing begins to be more interesting than continued “doing nothing”.
How do you create consistency in the important habits of your life?
In my leadership programs I share 6 areas of life where you need to have good habits if you wish to live a fulfilling life.
“Living Safely is Dangerous”
Nietzsche
What is your relationship to success and failure? I have been reflecting these recent weeks about how I respond to “failure” – when things do not turn out as I hoped or wished.
The video below shares my thinking about a better way of approaching failure in our lives.
I let small failures easily put me in a state of frustration and stop me making progress (and then checking social media and seeking out other simple distractions).
I take small setbacks incredibly personally.
I’ve been reflecting on why I let these small failure events have such an effect on me.
I realised that I was telling myself that all setbacks are bad.
This is not a great story to tell myself. A new story is that failures are a sign that I am working towards important goals. A lack of setbacks would be a demonstration that I am only working towards easy, unimportant goals that don’t push me to grow as a person.
Essential Meaning of failure: (from Merriam-Webster dictionary)