Question: How do I break the cycle of being so dependent on the opinion/approval of others before I can help myself?

I am a critical thinker, very strategic, very creative I seem to naturally mix intellect and innovate thinking I naturally seem to engender trust and people do turn to me/listen I seem to motivate people I have a very strong work ethic I am very adaptive and always seem to be steps ahead I am decisive and can always see the goal But Well received, noted as intelligent and capable Then comes the amazing feedback but no traction I am getting deflated and disconnected

Intellectually I know that I won't always find out why and that it is more about what I do about this rejection I seem stuck and a bit clouded I am struggling to identify/see the next goal, I struggle with the next step and end up going round and round I am surrounded by well-meaning people who restrict me & play it safe I am starting to perfect business rather than action to keep a wall up The lack of progress is tearing me apart, it makes me implode I seem to ruffle the feathers of and/scare 'game-players' and bullies wherever I go

As a result, I have suffered a lot professionally/personally I am struggling with depression I am currently the worst version of myself I have started to hide I am struggling to act on what I know as fact with emotions triggered big time Rather ashamedly, I have struggled for over a year to change this I have lost direction and but not belief I know all I need is one step up and I will fly ps. First abused in childhood, so trust is a big issue for me, so is asking for help