The 3 Essential Skills for Being Human

David Brooks is a columnist at the New York Times. His recent column “The Essential Skills for Being Human” has inspired this week’s video and post.

I loved his book “The Social Animal” – which is a novel-like story about the lives of 2 people and how their values and actions shape their lives. It reminded me of another book that had a powerful impact on me, Somerset Maugham’s “The Razor’s Edge”.

If you liked this post, you will also like Getting your Life in order and Set Goals of Character and Ability, not of Achievement and Status.

Do you have Weekend Friends or Mid-week Friends?

David Brooks has career success, but in this TED talk he shares how he found himself empty. 5 years ago, his wife left, his kids had moved out… and he discovered he had nothing to do outside of work. He had mid-week friends, but he had no weekend friends.

Success in career is not success in life.

Individual happiness is transient and empty.

David’s 2 antidotes:

Commit to People. Achieving individual freedom is nice, but the our life needs committed connection to others… to not be free.
Chase Joy not Happiness. Joy comes when our ego dissolves in the pursuit of something bigger.

“Suffering breaks some people, and breaks some people open”

This post-divorce loneliness crisis led David to explore a deeper way of connecting to others. He began to lose his individual freedom in order to commit to other people.

Our society is in the midst of a social crisis: we’re trapped in a valley of isolation and fragmentation. How do we find our way out?

“Joy is not the expansion of self, it is the dissolution of self.”

Check out David’s full TED talk below:

The Top 5 Commencement Speeches

Note: with a series of additions over the years, this post is now 11 Commencement speeches that I love.

Commencement speeches… the final words of wisdom that almost-graduates receive before heading out into the big world. These are important speeches.

I’ve seen a lot of them… I have had the privilege of attending 2 or 3 graduations a year at IESE Business School over the last 16 years… that’s a total of over 35 commencement speeches that I have personally attended 😉

Top 5 Commencement Speeches

Conor’s Top 11 Commencement Speeches

Here are my 11 favourite commencement speeches. They are from inspiring people, sharing personal experiences in a humble manner. This 11 pack of wisdom runs to less than 120 minutes of your life… Watch soon, watch often…

My top 11 commencement speeches (not in any order of preference):

Neil Gaiman
Steve Jobs
JK Rowling
David Brooks
David Foster Wallace
Prof Rick Rigsby
Bono
Oprah Winfrey
Bill Gates
Bill Clinton
Barrack Obama

The videos are all provided below on the blog, also available on youtube as a playlist called Commencement Speeches.

Neil Gaiman

Make Good Art

University of the Arts, 2012

Neil Gaiman is an English author of short fiction, novels, comic books, graphic novels, audio theatre and films. A must watch for any artist and everyone who hopes to be creative and successful.

Steve Jobs

Connect the Dots

Stanford, 2005

Drawing from some of the most pivotal points in his life, Steve Jobs, chief executive officer and co-founder of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, urged graduates to pursue their dreams and see the opportunities in life’s setbacks, including death itself.

JK Rowling

The benefits of failure and imagination

Harvard University, 2008

J. K. Rowling is a British novelist, screenwriter and film producer best known as the author of the Harry Potter fantasy series.

David Brooks

Make Commitments in Life

Dartmouth 2015

“We are not a society that nurtures commitment-making,” “New York Times” columnist David Brooks told the Class of 2015. “But your fulfillment in life will not come from how well you explore your freedom and keep your options open. … Your fulfillment in life will come by how well you end your freedom.”

David Foster Wallace

Learn to be Humble

Kenyon University, 2005

This is just the audio and not a video of his commencement speech, but the essential message on the need to learn humility and the ability to engage with diverse people and points of view is so well expressed that I include it.

Prof Rick Rigsby

Seek Wisdom, not Just Knowledge

Rick Rigsby commands the audience with his presence. His speech is reminiscent of Martin Luther King… with his tone of voice raising and lowering and his pacing of his words deliberately used to emphasise his message.

Tag: david brooks