Choose your Hard (…because in Life… it is all hard)

I heard a recent Jordan Peterson video where he expounded on the concept “Choose your Hard”. This video has some of my reflections on the choice. Choosing hard today makes a difference. Not choosing hard is a choice… and it has consequences.

I love Pep Mari’s wisdom around true commitment. I shared his 4 levels of commitment in a previous video here: Pep Mari’s 4 levels of committment.

…and here is the comment on Linkedin that triggered my second part of the video: 17 habits is too hard for most people.

What is the fundamental characteristic of a leader?

What makes a person into a leader?

Charisma? No.

Communication? No.

Experience? No.

They deserve a promotion because of past efforts? No.

What ideas do you have?

There is one characteristic without which you cannot be called a leader.

Followers? Yes…  but what do you need to have as a leader so that others actually follow?

The Fundamental Characteristic of a Leader

A Destination.

You know where you are going.

…and then the power to Communicate

…and then you need to develop the ability to engage with people so that the destination becomes a shared destination.  

If you can begin to paint the destination in the minds of others with stories you begin to engage not just their hands, not just their skills, but their whole self in the committed pursuit.

A Shared Vision of a Worthwhile Destination

How do you engage those around you to commit to the journey?

Don’t “motivate” people.  

Figure out something that is worth doing.  Figure out how it will make your life better, how it will make their lives better and how it will make society better. 

Help others understand that being part of it will be better for them and their life.

How do you share this destination with others?  How’s this as a script:

  • Let us move forward: This is a good use of our time…
  • Here is what is in it for me…
  • Here is what is in it for you…

Business as an Infinite game

Simon Sinek shares a powerful concept in his book “The Infinite Game”.  He has popularised the distinction between Finite games and Infinite games. 

Chess is a finite game.  Soccer is a finite game.  Tennis is a finite game.  They each have a set of agreed rules, and a clear victory condition at which time the game ends.  The objective in a finite game is to end the game as victor.

Business is not a finite game.  Life is not a finite game.  Leading human beings is not a finite game.  

Success in life is keeping it engaging to play for all those involved (including yourself!). 

A game everyone plays voluntarily is more successful than a game where some must be compelled to play.

If you are going to set up an organisation, you can compel people to perform with threats and fear.  It is much more effective to engage them to play a game that is meaningful for them, and for you… and for society as a whole.

How to lead the whole Person

Imagine these two requests from a leader:

  1. “Go home and take 4 hours to think about how you will contribute to this organisation over the next year” or
  2. “Go home and take 4 hours to think about your life and formulate a plan for your life with this business being a part of the plan”

Which is the question of the bigger leader?

Jordan Peterson reports a 10% increase in contribution where leaders ask the 2nd question to their teams. 

You want yourself and your team to see that working for you serves their higher order purpose.  

If not, this is not the job for them.  Help them find a place where they can serve their higher purpose.

If you liked this post, you will also like Finding Purpose and Defining a Vision for your Life and What is Leadership?

This post was inspired by Jordan Peterson in this Bigthink video: 

 

Results in Life

There are 3 primary drivers of results in life:

  1. Your luck (randomness)
  2. Your strategy (choices)
  3. Your actions (habits)

Nice tweet from James Clear, the author of the book Atomic Habits.

There is a fourth driver of Results

4. how I respond to what happens

I am reading Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life at the moment. I love the depth and the conviction that comes across from Jordan’s writing (and his youtube videos).

One of the things that really stuck with me from the early chapters was Jordan’s sense that Heaven and Hell are here with us on earth… and that our response to the events of our life can allow them to truly become Hell.

He shared a story of an old man dying of cancer in a hospital. This is tragic. What makes it hell is what is happening between the adult children of the man in the hospital room as he lies dying. There is a bitterness between them and an anger about how the inheritance will be split. The response of these adult children is to make life worse for each other.

Life is Tragic. Humans can make it Hell.

Old man dying is a tragic part of life.

His children fighting over the inheritance is how to turn tragedy into hell.

There is no situation so bad that we cannot make it worse with our own reaction to it. Do we learn from the event, or do we allow it to push us into an emotional state where we make life worse for others because of our own feelings of hurt and anger and desire for revenge.

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