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How to challenge others in a constructive way? [Ian W.]

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[Moving People to Action] What Questions do you Have (For Videos)
Please could you do a video about how to challenge others in a constructive way. I mean in a way that tries to tackle the ball not the player, and does it in a way that is respectful and is perceived as non-hostile. I believe this skill is very important in many walks of both personal and professional life. Thanks so much for the wonderful videos.

from Ian W.

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“I know you are better than this”.

How to challenge people in a productive way

I believe the best book that I have come across on this is The 60 minute manager by Ken Blanchard.

He shares a template script for how to challenge someone.  

First – make sure that it is a private conversation, not overheard by others.

Then, let them know that you value them for who they are.

Then let them know that a specific recent behaviour – be specific on the time, what you saw, the impact…*  and tell them clearly that this behaviour is not a reflection of who you know them to be.

“I know you are better than this”.

That is the way.

* you need to separate your judgement out of this explanation… share what you saw, what you heard, what happened – no opinion.