Communication requires 2 people

Communication happens in the recipient.

If there is no recipient, it is not communication. It is called noise, or as the Irish say: “shouting at the storm”.

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Communication can only begin when you understand what the recipient wants, what their goals are, what is missing in their current way of life.  If you don’t know the recipient, you are probably making noise.

Improve your communications by changing your question to answer ratio.  Ask more of these questions:

  • “What is already working well?”
  • “What is not working so well?”
  • “What would you change?”
  • “What objectives do you have?”
  • “What will show you that you have been successful?”
  • “What do you really want to achieve?”

If you don’t know the answers to these questions for each recipient, you are probably making noise rather than communicating.

Moving from Noise to Communication

If your noise is not helping the recipient achieve something in line with their actual values, then they are politely making noises and gestures so that they are not seen as rude – but they will not change because of your noise.

If your communication is entirely concerned with what you want, then it is definitely noise.


What I need from you:

I don’t know if this blog is noise or communication.  I would like to know more about you: What do you like about this blog?  What is not working so well?  What would you change?  What objectives do you have that I could write more about?  I would love if you would take a minute and leave a comment today.  The comments section is here (if you are reading via rss, email, newsletter).


9 responses to “Communication requires 2 people”

  1. Hello Conor. I am trying my best to “follow” you and your amazing articles. They have helped me a lot! We need more videos !! 😀 Keep going, I enjoy reading your posts!

  2. Hi, Connor!

    I want to tell you that I read your articles and watch your videos as much as I can, being a housewife with baby twins. I think that what I love most is that when I see you speaking it feels that the flow of ideas comes from the bottom of your heart and I feel like being there, like a face-to-face seminar. You have a great capacity of empathy.
    I find all your articles of great use in everyday life and in particular situations, too.
    What I´m waiting for is the day that I could put all this into practise 😉 Until then, I gather as much information as I can.

    Thank you for everything,

    Maryanne C.

    P.S.: There is something that have always been interested in: Aristoteles¨ life, his period and similar personalities of that time.

    1. Thank you Maryanne (I’ll be a dad again very soon! not twins…)

  3. Dear Conor Neil,
    I started following your blog for the past three months.
    What I love about your advise, ideas is that they sound pure & crisp. I understood the importance of being relaxed & having clarity about what you want to communicate is very important for a successful conversation.
    I have completed 10 lessons of yours.
    Kindly request you to continue sending your updates to me.
    Roshan Niwunhella

    1. Thank you Roshan – I am glad. One of my personal reminders is that if I cannot explain it to a 10 year old, then I probably don’t understand it well enough yet.

  4. Its amazing communication, I read every blog of you, and always appreciate the shared write-up. its really worth. I am your regular reader, and never skip even a single post. I have also shared your post many times on my Facebook account (I rarely share of Facebook, But I try to share worthy things )

    1. Thank you Sumit – and thank you for sharing

  5. Kesagani srinivas Avatar
    Kesagani srinivas

    Dear sir
    I hope its amazing communication to all and I read every article I received and trying to do my level best and help a lot

    Thanks & Regards

    1. Thank you Kesagani – where are you reading the blog from?

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