This video is about 4 different types of audience that you can face as a speaker and how to adjust your objectives and manner of engagement to each of these distinct audience groups.
The 4 Types of Audience
There are four types of audience, and consequent persuasive strategy that you can come upon when you are seeking to move a group to action through your speech.
Friendly. Your purpose: reinforcing their beliefs.
Apathetic. Your purpose is to first to convince them that it matters for them.
Uninformed. Your requirement is to educate before you can begin to propose a course of action.
Hostile. You purpose is to respect them and their viewpoint. The most you may be able to gain is respect to listen to your views. It is key that you can present some information that is viewed as new to the audience before asking for any change in their position. This is firstly courteous, but also gives the listener’s ego room to change without feeling demeaned (“based on this new information, I ask you to change”)
Dealing with a Hostile Audience
Specific Actions for Hostile Audiences
When providing new information it is vital that you help the listeners “assimilate”. How can you make it real for them? There are a number of techniques to bear in mind.
Use stories (ideally real stories), metaphors, hypothetical situations
Stress common ground
Present statistics/data that is clear to conclude from
Address conflicting evidence (what are the strengths and weaknesses of the conflicting evidence)
AVOID exaggeration or gross hyperbole. The use of exaggeration in a number of areas of public debate has caused extreme entrenchment of the opposing sides. eg. abortion, climate change. The persuasive speaker works hard to keep to the facts and be clear about the logic of the proposed course of action.
The 3rd Edition of TEDxIESEBarcelona is on today. Here’s the agenda, a link to the livestream and a playlist of previous talks. (If you can see the embedded viewer via email, check it out here on the blog).
The Event has Finished. I will share the videos here when they become available.
Today, I am in Seville. I’ve been procrastinating and delaying and avoiding making a video using the worst excuse of all. Watch the video to see if you are prone to use this particular version of the excuse.
I’m in Dublin at my parent’s house. Sunday morning, out for a run before a mother’s day lunch with my family. I love to run the south Dublin country lanes up to the ruined Tully Church.
“Old Tully Church lies abandoned in a now overgrown patch of land in the old Town land of Lehaunestown. It is reputed to be dedicated to St. Bridget, which would date the original structure between the 6th and 9th centuries. The Nave itself dates back to the 13th century. In 1179 the Church was granted to The Priory of The Holy Spirit and remained in use until the mid 1600’s when it subsequently fell into ruin.” from Tully Church, Ireland in Ruins
As I stood in the graveyard of this ancient ruin, I reflected on the lives lived and ended buried in this field. What did these lives mean? What did they leave behind? What can any of us leave behind?
My answer is heavily inspired by the work of Tolstoy: The Death of Ivan Ilyich. Rather than explain the story, I would recommend you go read it.
In the video, I share the parable of the hedgehog, sourced from Schopenhauer.
The “hedgehog in the cold” concept originates in the following parable from the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s Parerga und Paralipomena.
“A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another. In the same way the need of society drives the human porcupines together, only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature. The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of intercourse, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told—in the English phrase—to keep their distance. By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied; but then people do not get pricked. A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself.” Schopenhauer
Listening is a state of seeking to be changed by the other person.
Listening is less about the ears, than about a state of openness to change.
Hearing is different from all other senses in that it has a buffer, a short term memory of the last 8 seconds that we have heard. This allows us to pay little attention until we hear a word, our name or a silence and this triggers us to scan the last few seconds of audio intently. Most of the time we learn to listen with little attention.
This is a dangerous mode of listening to those whose relationships are important to us. We must learn another way of listening to people who we value and are important to us. We must “listen with our eyes”.
When someone approaches me with the challenge: “I have a really difficult time communicating with my second son”. My question: “how have you let him change you?” This is what makes a relationship – a sense that both have the capacity to affect change in the other. Where I don’t let you affect my views, you will not let me affect your views. This does not mean that we let go of rationality. This means we are open to the different priorities that another person uses to view the world.
How can you influence people who are close to you without impacting the quality of your relationship?
What do you do to influence a behaviour of your child?
How do you speak to a friend with an addiction that is affecting their life?
How can you help a family member with a poor habit that is affecting their quality of life?
How to Influence People who are Close to you (without damaging the relationship)
Michael Pendelton of Yale University has spent many years looking at how families can intervene in the life of a loved one with an addiction problem and achieve lasting positive change. He has shown that long term, forcing change will not work.
There are 3 ingredients that are necessary to achieve lasting change in a person who is challenged with an addiction.
Let me know in the comments below what you think of Michael’s influencing strategy? Is it realistic? Can you see it working in your relationships?
Some “Tonyisms” compiled by Zeke Abraham at Date With Destiny last week.
“I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.”
– Tony Robbins
Complexity is the enemy of execution.
You can only build on success, you can’t build on failure.
Our culture reinforces blame of others.
Words have a biochemical effect on the body
Stress is a code word for FEAR.
Stress doesn’t come from the facts, stress comes from the meaning we give the facts. When you come up with a new meaning, you get a new life.
Three decisions that we all make, control each moment of our lives:
What to focus on
What things mean
What to do in spite of the challenges that may appear.
We are suffering so much because we are overlooking the gifts around us.
Trade expectation for appreciation and our whole life changes in an instant. ~Because~
You can’t feel grateful and fearful at the same time. Or
You can’t feel grateful and angry at the same time.
When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears
Celebration releases stress, it lifts your mood, motivates you, and lastly, it gives you energy. Not only physically, but it gives you energy for life
When you adopt an attitude of gratitude celebrating for no good reason, is a good enough reason.
The Past does not equal the Future. Biography does not equal Destiny.
Our culture wants you to be one thing — to keep you simple.
6 human needs , each can be met constructively or destructively:
2. Uncertainty / Variety
4. Love / Connection
People will give up their goals, dreams and values to meet their needs
Anytime your mind perceives that doing something, feeling something, or believing something meets three of your needs; it becomes an addiction.
A Strategy is a system of producing a consistent result.
Faith is freedom.
A belief is a feeling of certainty about what something means.
There is a way beyond the way you’ve been programmed and that’s to program YOURSELF.
People who succeed long term live on pull not push.
If you don’t like the answers, ask better questions.
Life is happening FOR me not TO me.
Proximity is power.
Who you spend time with is who you become.
People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.
Only 3 things hold you back in business:
1. Failure to anticipate
2. Lack of follow through
3. Our own psychology and mindset
Leaders are READERS: Minimum 30 minutes a day. (A book! NOT a fluff piece, social media or magazine or infographic.)
Necessity is the mother of invention
It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
In life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know.
Knowing is not enough! You must take action.
Knowledge is not power…it’s potential power. Execution will trump knowledge any day.
Information is potential power—execution trumps information every time.
Emotion is created by motion
CHANGE YOUR STATE! (PHYSIOLOGY)
Where focus goes, energy flows (THOUGHT = ENERGY)
I am a force for good!
DEFY THE ODDS!
Make your move!
If you want to change your life, raise your standards, change your SHOULD’s into MUST’s
If you want to take the island, you gotta burn the freakin boats
We all get what we tolerate.
The secret to LIVING is GIVING
Losers react, winners anticipate
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten
The path of least resistance will never make you proud.
Progress = happiness
If we don’t grow we die
People are rewarded in public for what they do in private
Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in a decade
Life’s reward system is not fair. We don’t get rewards that are equal to efforts.
Good Effort = ZERO REWARDS
Great Effort = Good Rewards
Excellent Effort =Great Rewards
+ ADD ONLY 2mm more effort
Outstanding Effort = EXCELLENT Rewards
If you treat people at the end of the relationship like you did at the beginning, there won’t be an end.
What stops us all from moving forward is FEAR: The two primary fears that we all share are:
1. the fear that we’re not enough, and therefore
2. the fear that we won’t be loved
The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.
Whenever you are happy with something in your life, it is because right now, the conditions of your life match your blueprint, or your belief about how life should be in that particular area. When you suffer, that is a signal for you to look at your blueprint. You have two options:
1. Either change your life, that is, do something to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
2. Or if you can’t change your life, change your blueprint.
The quality of your life is equal to the quality of your relationships.
Bottom line, If you’re not happy in your relationship, you aren’t happy (period)
Prime yourself daily – if you don’t have 10 minutes, you don’t have a life: