There are 3 reasons why a human being makes a change in their habits. If you want to effect a change in your life, or help another with a change that they say they want to make in their life – there are 3 levers that can increase the likelihood that change happens.
The 3 Reasons we Change
Pain – When my perception of current pain is visceral, then I will make the effort required to change. Someone can be in great pain but be unaware of the degree to which they are suffering. If I help myself or other become fully aware of the current pain, change can begin.
Vision – When I can see with extreme clarity where I want to get to, it is more likely that changes will happen. If I have a vague sense of where I want to go, nothing will change. As I make that vision clearer and clearer, more and more believable… change will begin to happen.
Fear of Future Consequences – When I can see the future pain that is coming if I do not change, and I feel it viscerally as if it was a current pain, change can begin to happen. Often I know that there are future consequences, but I haven’t truly taken the time to visualise and feel how bad it will be.
If you want someone to change, including yourself, don’t tell them what to do. Help them feel the current pain, see clearly the vision or feel the future consequences. This is how we help change happen.
Ensuring that the team, the organisation, the institution, the vision and mission can live on after you.
It is hard to let go of the ego part of you that enjoys being “needed”. It is difficult to accept that there needs to be a future beyond you. If an empire cannot go on beyond the ruler, this was not a great ruler.
Alexander the Great… was great at conquering and winning battles… but so totally failed to prepare for life beyond him that his children were murdered soon after his death and his five generals spent the rest of their lives fighting over the succession to his empire.
Will my organisation live on beyond my time as leader? I hope so…
Management is always about tradeoffs. If you want quality, you have to sacrifice time or money. If you want fast, you have to sacrifice quality or money. If you want cheap, you have to sacrifice quality or time.
Leadership is about People
If you push people, you don’t know which way they will go. If you use your power to tell them how to act, you will create a push back.
If you can learn to pull people, they will follow.
Power comes when people freely give you their support.
If you take that power and reflect it all back to them, they give you more. If you use the power for yourself, they give you less power. If you give people back the power that they entrust to you, more and more comes to you. You get to use this power for a Just Cause, something bigger than yourself, a Vision of a better world for all of us.
“Leadership is the most valuable commodity on the planet and it is the rarest commodity we have”
“Second order thinking” is a big part of Paul’s approach. Second order thinking is looking for non-obvious rules that improve decision making, efficiency and quality of life. Check out the Python Paradox for an example 😉
Paul’s Essays that have most Impacted My Approach to Life
A big part of Vistage group meetings is working through a CEO’s challenges and helping them get clarity about how they can move forward with their business and their life.
We often find that the biggest obstacle to forward progress is not outside of us, but inside of us.
There are 4 fatal fears.
We also call these “Core Self-Limiting Beliefs”. They are learnt. We are not born with these fears. There are only 2 fear that we are born with: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Every other fear has been learnt. (This does not make them less real or easier to deal with).
These 4 fears will drive a grasping towards something that will never fill me. If I am looking for completion outside of myself, I will never scratch my itch. I need to learn to be able to sit with my fear and anxiety and accept it and accept that I am human and imperfect.
Fear of Failure – “I Need Success”
Fear of Rejection – “I Need Acceptance”
Fear of Emotional Discomfort – “I Need Emotional Comfort”
Fear of Being Wrong – “I Need to Be Right”
Each of the fears can be accepted and allowed to exist within me. They will never go away. They will always be there, but I can accept them and not allow them to direct my actions and my words.
This list was put together by my father, Terry Neill, in the 1980’s as a reminder for himself and those around him about the nature of good leadership, and the easy pitfalls of Non-Leadership. He led businesses through good times and through tough times and I can see the positive impact he has had on many who worked with him.
He was recently cleaning out some papers in his office and found this and shared it with me and my siblings. I find it simple and clear. Leadership is not easy, but it is necessary in all areas of our lives.
You don’t need Power to lead
You do not need to wait for power, nor permission nor position to decide to act like a leader. You decide to take responsibility and begin. You realise that each of your actions make a difference. You are connected to many people and your actions have impact. You will affect more than 1,000 people over the course of your life. If you have a positive affect on them, they in turn are connected to more than 1,000 people and your leadership will ripple out and touch over 1,000,000 lives. These 1,000,000 lives are connected out to 1,000 in their turn… and your small daily actions of leading and taking responsibility to make things better will ripple out to a billion people. Your actions matter.
A coach appealing to the best in each person; open door; problem solver and advice giver; cheerleader
Invisible – gives orders to staff – expects them to be carried out
Thinks of ways to help people be more productive, more focused on practicval goals and how to reward them
Thinks of personal awards, status, and how he or she looks to outsiders
Comfortable with people in their workplaces
Uncomfortable with people
Wants anonymity for self, publicity for practice of others
Often takes the blame
Looks for a scapegoat
Gives credit to others
Takes credit. Complains about
lack of good people
Gives honest, frequent feedback
Info flows one way – into his or
Knows when and how to deal with non performers or unfair clients’ comments or pressures
Ducks unpleasant tasks
Goes where the trouble is – to help
Interrupts people in crisis and
calls them to meetings at his or her desk
Has respect for all people
Thinks operators, clerical staff
etc are lazy, incompetent ingrates
Knows the business, and the kind of people who make it tick
They’ve never met him or her
Honest under pressure
Looks for controls to abolish
Loves new controls
Prefers eyeball to eyeball instead of memos
Prefers memos… long reports
own mistakes. Comforts others when they admit them
Never makes mistakes. Blames
others. Starts witch hunts to identify culprits
paperwork in planning
Vast paperwork in planning
Arrives early. Stays late
In late. Usually leaves on time
Strained with shop or office
Simplistic on organisation values
Good at demonstrating his/her
command of all the complexities
Hard to reach from below
Fair to the top. Exploits the
Uses committees. Makes accountabilities opaque
Tough – confronts nasty problems
Elusive – “the artful dodger”
Only when his/her goodies are at
Simplifies (makes it look ‘easy’)
Complicates (Makes it look difficult)
Tolerant of open disagreement
Intolerant of open disagreement
Knows people’s names
Doesn’t know people’s names
Has strong convictions
Vacillates when a decision is needed
Trusts words and numbers on
Delegates whole important jobs
Keeps all final decisions
Doesn’t – unless it ‘suits’
Thinks there are at least 2 other people who would be better at his/her job
Number one priority is to make
bloody sure no one remotely gets near to being a threat
Focused to the point of monomania on values and ethical principles
Unfocused except on self
Sees mistakes as learning opportunities
Sees mistakes as punishment opportunities
Does ‘dog work’ when necessary
Above ‘dog work’
Consistent and credible with the troops
Unpredictable. Says what he thinks they want to hear
About Terry Neill
Father of 4 wonderful children and Grandpa to 9 grandchildren.
In his 30 year career with Accenture/Andersen Consulting he was based in Dublin, Chicago and London. He was Chairperson of Andersen Worldwide and Accenture; and was worldwide managing partner of the Change Management Practice.
He returned to Ireland in 2005 and was a Director of Bank of Ireland Group, UBM (the world’s biggest events company) and CRH plc. He is chairperson of the National Council of Wexford Festival Opera.
He is a maths/physics graduate of Trinity College Dublin. He was for 13 years a Governor of London Business School, where he had also gained his MBA. He is a member of both the Board of Trinity Foundation and the Trinity Arts & Humanities Governance Board. He was chairperson of Co-operation Ireland (GB) and Camerata Ireland, Barry Douglas’s all island chamber orchestra.
This is an interview with John Zimmer, one of the leadership communications coaches who joins me regularly at IESE Business School for various programs. This week we are teaching the Executive MBA program.
John has a wonderful blog: Manner of Speaking. Four of the top posts at his blog are:
IESE Business School is a global business school offering MBA and Executive Education programs. Ranked #1 in world by FT, four years in a row (2014-2018). IESE has locations in Barcelona, Madrid, New York, Munich and Sao Paulo.
The Mission of IESE Business School
The mission of IESE is to develop and inspire business leaders who strive to make a deep, positive and lasting impact on the people, companies and society they serve.
“We want to educate leaders to whom we can entrust the future of business and society. For this reason, we develop the integrity, spirit of service, professional excellence and sense of responsibility of all those who take part in one of our programs.”
IESE Business School
IESE Business School activities are centered around three management axes:
general management approach
people-centered vision, with the ethics and social responsibility that entails. We believe that companies are, above all, communities of people who work better in atmospheres of respect and trust.
Here’s a quick analysis (not scientific nor complete) of poor ways of listening. I am guilty of #1 and #2, I can enjoy #3… but I really hate #4. (#2 is my Achilles Heel).
The 4 Categories of Poor Listening
Knows it Already
Knows it Already
As you get half-way through your sentence, the Knows it Already already knows what they think you are going to say. They are now preparing their response rather than listening to the rest of your words.
Whatever you have done, they have done it… but twice as well, or twice as big or twice as impressive. You share that you went on safari last year and saw 2 elephants. They went on safari 2 years ago and saw 4 elephants, 10 lions and millions of other animals.
I give thanks to Florian Mueck for helping me recognise and reduce my tendency towards “One Upping”
Whatever you share, they will share something negative or comparative about other people who are not in the room.
Waldemar Schmidt, past-CEO of ISS, a 250,000 employee global facilities services business.
Currently on the Boards of 28 companies, London Business School Advisory Board, Professor at Copenhagen Business School, Executive in Residence at IMD.
Author of 4 books including “The Job of the CEO“. Note: all book Royalties are donated to the Waldemar Schmidt Scholarship for (Brazilian) students at the international MBA Programme at Copenhagen Business School.
Highlights from the Interview
1:49 What is the Job of the CEO?
3:18 Know Products, Numbers, Customers
4:30 Management and Leadership
5:35 Taking Good Decisions
12:40 The Calendar of the CEO
15:07 What do you do after being a CEO?
16:45 Why did Waldemar step back from the CEO role?
18:10 Advice to a 55 year old ex-CEO
19:55 Networking as a CEO
21:18 How to Build Relationships with top Head Hunters
23:20 130 dilemmas that CEOs will face in life and business
23:50 The worst enemy of great leadership: Arrogance