Student: “When I speak, people don’t listen. Why is that?”
Teacher: “It depends…”
It always depends…
There are many possible reasons that people don’t engage with you, don’t care about what you are going to say, don’t pay attention.
Rarely does anyone come to me and say “I need help. I am boring.”
However, this condition is not uncommon.
Some people find that they never have anything to say to others, they are left alone at parties, no one invites them out more than once; they are shy, bland, awkward or bland. Being boring is a serious social problem. In general, boring people are inhibited, lack spontaneity, never take risks; boring people say things that are always predictable. They say what they believe others want them to say.
Boring people are squashed souls. They have been made boring by their childhood environment. Underneath the surface boring persona, there is a creative, childlike, vital person. You can’t get there by shock tactics, you have to coax the inner child to push past the surface obstacles.
How can you develop executive presence?
14 Characteristics of Executive Presence
- You make others feel important and helpful
- You have an elegant way of approaching, engaging and getting to know others
- You smile and maintain eye-contact
- Your presence is felt once you walk into a room
- You inspire people; you are likeable and trustworthy
- People are curious to know more about you
- People want to build a relationship with you
- You are perceived as important, valued and respected
- You ask relevant and thought-provoking questions that begin a dialogue
- You are well read and share fresh perspectives
- You always leave a message that people remember
- You relate equally well with different types of people (regardless of hierarchy or rank)
- You positively impact others and those around you immediately
- You share and create opportunities for others
Interested vs Interesting
The key is to be interested in other people, their lives, their challenges, their dreams. If you are interested in others, curious about their stories: you will not be boring.
Presence is about your effect on others, not any quality of you.
What are your thoughts?