Category: Confidence
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How to Make People Feel Good about themselves
I’ve had some tough days this year. I am not alone. Covid is a physical disease, but the wider impact will be on the mental health of the billions who have been hit by the economic shutdown. Who do you feel is struggling to keep things together? Every single one of us has incredible power…
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Influence: The 6 Moments of Power, How to Frame your Requests for More “Yes”
This video is about Cialdini’s 6 Moments of Power from his book “Influence”. Here is Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” About the Book Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say “yes”—and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the…
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Zero Executive Presence: “When I speak, people don’t listen. Why is that?”
Student: “When I speak, people don’t listen.  Why is that?” Teacher: “It depends…” It always depends… There are many possible reasons that people don’t engage with you, don’t care about what you are going to say, don’t pay attention. Rarely does anyone come to me and say “I need help.  I am boring.” However, this condition is…
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Teaching with Creative Indifference (or Impartiality)
Creative Indifference A good gardener creates the conditions for growth of a garden, but cannot force the flowers to grow in an exact way. Â The good gardener creates the conditions and accepts what arises. The bad gardener fights what arises. Â The bad gardener hacks and chops and fights against the natural growth of nature. The…
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The 3 Worst Things that We Learned as Children
Was school good for me?  I do believe so. There are some very positive values that were inculcated in me through the way the teachers dealt with us, the stories we were told, the structure of the school:  compassion, gratitude, sharing, discipline, respect, charity, hope, love. The 3 Worst Things We Learned As Children However, there…
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The Quality of a Leader’s Intent
Two leaders in the same circumstances doing the same thing can bring about completely different outcomes. I’ve often wondered why. It is more than just luck. It is an inner quality of certain leaders. There is a quality to certain people’s intent, capacity to observe without judging, capacity to see a new way to put…
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How Confident People achieve a Confident Mindset (In a Way Most People Don’t Know)
How do some people remain poised and confident where others are reduced to nervous wrecks? I have been a student of the human condition for years. Â It all started age 17 when I faced the tough life decision of what to do after school finished. I decided to study psychology at university. Â There were three…
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All life demands struggle.
I often use an exercise called The Lifeline in my teaching. Â I found a good summary of the exercise here. Â In the exercise people reflect on the important positive and negative experiences of their life. Something that has struck me after all these years of watching groups work on the exercise – it is the…
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10 Personal Habits of Resilient People
Take a moment and think about the people you know well. Â Who is the most psychologically resilient of your friends or family? Â Who would cope the best with major setbacks? Â Who would be able to keep their heads while all about them are losing theirs? Dealing with Failure: Resilience I was at…
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Loneliness and Aloneness
Loneliness and Aloneness are different. Loneliness is an emptiness and the desire to fill this space with another person in the hope that the emptiness will be filled and removed. Loneliness is to be unhappy alone; and leads to misery together. Loneliness leads to a possessive relationship that is not love. It may begin with…