The human condition: to be aware that we are free to take decisions and that these decisions can turn out to be poor choices.
It is normal to suffer and regret decisions.
Nobody has an anxiety-free life: not even in the movies, not even in romantic songs. Alain de Botton shares a wise insight into existential crises in this School of Life video.
Learning to Accept Myself as I am
Wisdom is to accept that we do what we do and that is enough. Even if I don’t do my best, it is the best that I could deliver at that time and that moment. We can learn from poor decisions, but we get nothing from the emotion of regretting past decisions and we get nothing from the emotion of anxiety over current decisions.
My father takes decisions very quickly. He has the attitude that he will change direction tomorrow if he is wrong, but he will not wait to take a decision.
Maybe I only see the outside of my father – maybe inside he does face anxiety and frustration at himself for not doing better to get prepared for something. He does a good job of hiding it.
I feel like I spent far too long in agonising worry over decisions. I should take a direction more quickly, but also be open to reversing the decision tomorrow. (As some that know me well will attest: I am poor at accepting that I am wrong).
To be wrong is to have learnt something new. If I take a decision now, and tomorrow I realise it was wrong for me – this new wisdom could only come because I had taken the decision.
What about you?
Are you good at taking decisions? Are you good at dealing with anxiety? I’d love to hear how you approach decisions and deal with yourself.