Here’s a quick analysis (not scientific nor complete) of poor ways of listening. I am guilty of #1 and #2, I can enjoy #3… but I really hate #4. (#2 is my Achilles Heel).
The 4 Categories of Poor Listening
- Knows it Already
- One Upper
- Gossiper
- Black Hole
Knows it Already
As you get half-way through your sentence, the Knows it Already already knows what they think you are going to say. They are now preparing their response rather than listening to the rest of your words.
One Upper
Whatever you have done, they have done it… but twice as well, or twice as big or twice as impressive. You share that you went on safari last year and saw 2 elephants. They went on safari 2 years ago and saw 4 elephants, 10 lions and millions of other animals.
- I give thanks to Florian Mueck for helping me recognise and reduce my tendency towards “One Upping”
Gossiper
Whatever you share, they will share something negative or comparative about other people who are not in the room.
Black Hole
Life is shit.