3 Ways Negative Self-Talk Damages Us

Psychologist Martin Seligman explained that there are three ways in which our internal beliefs or narratives  become damaging: we make them personal, pervasive, and permanent.

Personal: I failed, so I must be a failure

Pervasive: I failed in this instance, so I’ll probably fail in every instance.

Permanent: I failed once, so I’ll probably fail always

When something goes wrong, watch how you speak to yourself.  Be careful of the words “never” and “always”.  A failure is a single instance of particular context and a particular version of your past self – taken positively, each failure makes you a better version of yourself.

It is not what happens that makes life hard, it is the perspective we chose to take on what is happening.  We can chose which questions we ask ourself.  If I ask myself “Why am I such a loser?”, my brain happily provides a long list of good answers.  If I ask myself “What would I change next time?”, my brain engages in a more positive search for answers.

The only true failure is to let one setback stop you completely.  You are not your current situation, you are the fullness of the journey that you will complete over your lifetime.

A mountaineer is not a failure when they are at base camp and only a success when at the summit.

On Psychologically Resilient Self-Talk:

  1. 10 Habits of Resilient People
  2. All Life demands Struggle

One comment

  1. Ian Slattery · · Reply

    Congrats Conor on a very informative and entertaining blog – (your Dad introduced me to it) I have signed up and am looking forward to reading more. Moving people to action is a hugely relevant discussion – thanks and well done
    Ian Slattery (recently ex-Acn Dublin)

What do you think? Let me know you were here ;-)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Going Mad Wanna Come?

Perspectives on a Life in Progress of Being Lived

Centrifugal Performer

By Milica Ilic

Manner of Speaking

"All the great speakers were bad speakers at first." — Ralph W. Emerson

breath2x2

breathing made easy

Anna S. E. Lundberg

Coach, trainer, mentor

%d bloggers like this: