Tag: purpose

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I made a little change to the classic story about 3 men building a cathedral…

Working on a Cathedral

In the distance I see the construction site of a future cathedral. I approach the site and see three men laying bricks.

I approach the first man and ask “what are you doing?” He says “I am laying bricks.”

I approach the second man and ask “what are you doing?” He says “I am the world’s best stonecutter.” *

I approach the third man and ask “what are you doing?” He says “I am building a cathedral.”

* this is the little change…  😉

Who Are these Men?

The first man is clearly a day labourer and is not committed to the business, to his own personal development or to making society a better place.  He is not a leader and not part of a team.

The third man is focussed on making society better and feels that his work is a meaningful contribution.  He is a leader and part of a sense of team.

What about the Good Workman?

It is the second man that we must worry about.

This man is dangerous.

I meet many people who are like this second man. They are working on making themselves the best that they can be. The best manager, the best lawyer, the best gardener, the best architect.

Deciding to be the best that you can be at your job is a good thing.  However, it is not a mission.  It is not linked to an outcome that improves society.

It is possible to be the best stonecutter and allow a terrible cathedral to be built around you.  It is possible to be the best stonecutter and say nothing when you watch the plumber do a poor job with cheap tools.  It is possible to be the best stonecutter and watch the project fail around you and walk away saying “it wasn’t my job to look at finances, it wasn’t my job to make sure plumbing was done well… I did my bit”.  This is why it is dangerous for people on your team to limit their mission to being the best at their job.

How do you express your mission for your work?  Is it focussed on improving quality of life, or is it about being the best X?

 

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Idris: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Haha…  what?  me…  I think I’m a little too old for that”

Idris: “You do realise that you are still growing?”

“Hmmm…  you mean…  The Dream?”

Idris: “Yes, The Dream?”

“I don’t think people have enough time to dream.  Real life gets in the way of dreams.”

Idris: “What if I said to you that I can make it happen…  would you be up for that?”

Idris: “When we are kids we play, we think, we dream…  but as an adult we slow down very quickly.  No matter what stage they are in life, people shouldn’t stop dreaming.  They should thrive on.”

What is your Dream?

Read more on purpose, dreams and living fully:

“What if I said to you that I can make it happen…  would you be up for that?” Idris Elba

What do you need to start?  What is the first step?  What can you do now without needing permission from anybody?

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An effective statement of mission should be short, sharp and direct. It should fit on a t-shirt. Not a font 8 squeeze, but a legible font.

Every person who is involved should be able to articulate how their contribution adds to that mission. If not, then you don’t have a mission. You have a hopeful statement written by a board and not lived by an organisation.

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A Mission Is Not About What is Possible Today

“Never start with tomorrow to reach eternity. Eternity is not reached by small steps.” John Donne

A mission is not guided by what we can do today, what we do today is guided by the mission. If you start with the believably possible, you won’t create a mission you will draft a plan. Martin Luther did not say “I have a plan”. If he did, he would have had the auditors and accountants with him, but no actual people.

JFK said “a man on the moon by the end of the decade”. That’s not a plan. That’s a mission.

Norman Foster has designed some impossible buildings…. and then the engineers have found new ways to build.

Creating Mission: Start from “what problem do you want to solve”?  Don’t start from “what you know how to do”.  

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Most people do not have a compelling vision.

A boring vision attracts mediocre people and mediocre performance.

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“I want to make €1 million” is not a compelling vision. It is about you, and you alone.  Why would anyone else give their best effort so that you can have €1 million in your bank account?

Guy Kawasaki once told me that a compelling vision is based on one of three things:

  • Right a wrong
  • Give back to people something they have lost
  • Improve quality of life

How do you improve the quality of life of a group of people?  How do you fix something that is wrong with the world?  How do you give people something they once had but is now lost?

It takes courage to build a compelling vision.

It takes deep self reflection about what is deeply important to me.  The closer I get to what my deepest values ask of me, the more I will feel fear of ridicule by others.

If anything was possible, what type of world do you want to see?

Describe this world.

If it feels easily achievable, you do not have a compelling vision.  If this seems important but very difficult – you might be on to a compelling vision.

If you work for the money, you will get bored and apathetic sooner or later.  If the money is for a bigger purpose, then your journey can overcome many obstacles.

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What do you really want?

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Michael Gerber, in his book The E-Myth asks this question: What are your primary aims?

Imagine walking into a room.  You pause at the entrance.  In the room, seated, are all your friends and family. You enter the room.  You walk up the middle of the room.  At the front of the room there is a box. You approach the box. As you come closer you realise it is you in the box, and this is your funeral.

You hear people talking about your life.

What do you want them to be saying?

You have to decide.

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” Viktor E. Frankl

If you want to live an incredible life and achieve amazing things, you have to decide.  Nobody ever stood on the summit of Everest and said “oh wow, this is a surprise.”  It was a vision years before it became a reality.

Living an incredible life is no accident. I have to start knowing what I want to achieve. I need to be clear on who I need to become in order to achieve what I want. And then I need repeatedly to take action, even when I am plagued by doubt.

“A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. What he becomes – within the limits of endowment and environment- he has made out of himself. In the concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions.” Viktor E. Frankl, from his book Man’s Search for Meaning

Do you know what you want?

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This is a request for your experience.  I want your help.

Yesterday, I came across an interview with Ryan Avery, 2012 World Champion of Public Speaking on the blog of Paul Sohn: How to Speak Like a World Champion of Public Speaking.

Ryan Avery. At age 25, Ryan is the youngest World Champion of Public Speaking in history. He currently works as the Director of Marketing and Communications at Special Olympics Oregon.
Ryan Avery. At age 25, Ryan is the youngest World Champion of Public Speaking in history. He currently works as the Director of Marketing and Communications at Special Olympics Oregon.

The question that really struck me and has left me deep in thought for the last 24 hours is this:

“What is the hardest thing that you ever had to work for?”

Ryan said that a friend asked him this question and the fact that he could not answer it made him change.  He became World Champion of Public Speaking because of the question.

What is your answer?  Is it clear?

Personally, I don’t have a clear answer.

I have been reflecting on school, university, MBA; on 8 years of work at Accenture; on 1 year travelling with a backpack around Asia and Latin America; on 12 years building companies as a entrepreneur; on teaching; on 8 years of being a parent…  and I am not sure I have a clear answer.

My reflection is that I want to have a clear answer on my 50th birthday.  I want to know that there was something that I was willing to sacrifice for and that I chose to do the work consistently; in the good and in the tough times.

This weekend, I am on a 3 day course with Dr John DeMartini called “Master Planning for Life”.  I aim to have an answer on Sunday night.

My Questions for You, Reader:

I would love your help.  I learn so much from listening to other’s experiences.  I would welcome comments or emails direct to me conor (at) conorneill.com with your experiences, reflections and perspectives:

  • What is the hardest thing you have had to work for?
  • When did you know that you were committed to achieving it?
  • How did you overcome the loss of passion, the doubts as you worked through the project?
  • What is something you are working on now that is big, hard and meaningful (but your choice!  not your boss, company, family… you personally chose this project)

Thank you.

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How to achieve Work/Life Balance?

Have you ever wondered if “work/life balance” exists?  How do some of the world’s most successful professionals find harmony in work and with the rest of “life”?

This post is based on a conversation with Dr. Stew Friedman.  He is the author of Leading the Life You Want.

What is a good life?

His answer: Be real, be whole, be innovative.

What does it mean to be real, be whole and to be innovative?

Be Real, Be Whole, Be Innovative

What does it mean to “Be Real”?

What does it mean to “Be Whole”?

  • You are good at clarifying expectations
  • You help others
  • You build supportive networks (you cannot live a good life on your own: without peers, coaches, mentors)
  • You apply all of your resources effectively
  • You manage boundaries intelligently (sometimes firm, sometimes loose)
  • You weave disparate strands of life together

What does it mean to “Be Innovative”?

  • Your focus is on results
  • You resolve conflicts among domains
  • You continually challenge the status quo
  • You seek new ways of doing things (crowdsourcing solutions, ask for help)
  • You embrace change courageously
  • You support innovation attempts by others

Video: Dr Stew at Google

What do you think?  What areas are clear, unclear for you?  What action will you take?

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Last month, I asked my email subscribers a question:  What do you know now that you wish you knew then? (and wish you did).  Imagine you are having a coffee with a younger version of yourself. What would you say?  (If you still feel that you are the younger self… what would you ask the future you?)

I will be publishing a couple of the answers as I have really benefitted from the wonderful answers over the last 6 weeks.

I am interested in these answers because I am in the process of preparing a speech to 1,600 undergraduates who are on the point of transition between the world of university and the world of work and building a career.

Lesley’s Answer: What An Independent Consultant Would Say

Your question stimulated a rather interesting ponder over a glass of wine listening to the waves in Cartagena! This is what I’d tell my younger self, but it definitely wouldn’t apply to everyone…

  1. People (clients, bosses etc) are more influenced by what you say about yourself than you might think so learn the art of self-promotion as quickly as possible and don’t rely on the quality of your work to speak for you.
  2. View feedback as potentially interesting information about yourself and the person giving it (not personal criticism).
  3. Individual differences between people are even greater than you think so learn some tools to help you make sense of those differences as quickly as possible (especially MBTI) so you can handle people as they need/want to be handled.
  4. Perfection is unnecessary and unattainable.
  5. It’s not cheating to play to your strengths and delegate/pass on the other stuff to people who are better at it. There are actually people who enjoy the routine stuff and they’re worth their weight in gold!. Be in ‘the flow’ as much as possible (ref Csikszentmihalyi).
  6. But the devil IS often in the detail, so you’re right not to try to wing it!
  7. Trust your intuition even if it’s hard to put into words how you know and you can’t back it up with hard evidence.

Years ago I went to see John Harvey-Jones speak and someone asked him the same question. I loved his surprising reply: “The shits always get theirs”. I’ve seen quite a few bullies rise up through corporate structures and unscrupulous individuals riding rough shod over people but sooner or later they have generally been derailed. So I’m delighted to say that I agree with him.

Sadly, I’m not sure any of the foregoing will help get any young Catalans/Spaniards into work. What I’d say to them is “Learn good English, think more about delighting customers and before trying to get funding for a big idea, get hands-on experience in a small business that makes and/or sells things to learn about business basics like cash flow, margins and understanding the customer.” Working in my Mum’s greasy spoon as a teenager was a great preparation for running my own consultancy!

About Lesley Cannell, C. Psychol. AFBPsS 

lesleycannellLesley is a business psychologist who established her consultancy business, the Change Team, in the UK in 1993, with the mission of using psychology to enable people to change their behaviour and organisations to change their culture. Her clients are mainly multinational FMCG companies.  Lesley has lived in Barcelona since 2007. Like the birds she flies south to escape the cold… spending the winter months in Cartagena, Colombia.

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As I grow ever older, staying fit requires ever greater intention.  I sometimes wish to myself that it might be a little easier, but then quickly realise that this is my inner saboteur distracting me.

If you are going uphill then you are going towards success.  I so often want writing to become easier.  I live with the hope that if I really work at my fitness, at my writing: I will find that they become easier.  It does not work this way.  Eka told me that the better I get at something, the better my inner saboteur becomes.  I am wise enough to see through the excuses of 10 years ago, but now I have new, more sophisticated, more subtle, more dangerous excuses.

Photo Credit: DanieleCivello via Compfight cc
Photo Credit: DanieleCivello via Compfight cc

John Maxwell shares a story of a tree in a garden.  He says “if I take up my axe and swing at the tree, will I chop it down?”  Not in one blow, unless it is a very small tree.  In 5 blows? maybe?  If I go out every day and swing the axe at the tree, will the tree fall?  Yes.  When?  eventually.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… but if I keep on chopping, the tree will fall.  It could be a Californian Sequoia, it could be a towering British Oak: if I keep on chopping, the tree will fall.  It doesn’t matter the quality of the blows, it doesn’t matter the strength in my arms: if I keep on chopping, the tree will fall.

If you want to be successful: do what you have to do to be successful.  Not what you want to do, not what you wish you could do, not what you feel like doing…  what you have to do.

What are the 5 things you have to do to be successful?  You don’t need a PhD to figure these out.

“If you are not growing, you are dying” Jim Rohn

If I don’t have a plan for growth, the natural is not to stay in good fit shape.  If you are not moving forward, it is likely that you are being left behind.

I do have a plan for growth.  I have a plan for health, a plan for writing, a plan for teaching.  However, in the last few weeks I have grown comfortable.  I have stopped doing what is hard and only done what is easy.  I have allowed my inner saboteur to move me off the uphill path.  I was hoping for some automation, some easing of the uphill journey.  My friend Florian says “only dead fish swim with the flow”.  To be alive, is to swim against the natural flow.

“The only thing automatic in life is death” John Maxwell

Life is simple.  We live for a short moment, and then we die.  It is easy to be hopeless in the face of this simple equation.  It is easy for me to tell myself that anything I do is meaningless.  It is easy for me to excuse myself from the hard work.  In the face of the equation of life, there is only one heroic response.

The heroic response to challenge: Defiance.

Defiance in the Face of Difficulty

I cannot control the external forces of my life.  I cannot control whether people read my writing or like my writing or learn from my writing.  I cannot control when I get ill.  I cannot control when those that I love suffer, get ill.

I can always control my reaction.  To react is to give up the heroic response.  To respond in a way that resonates with the best version of myself, to be defiant in the face of difficulty: this is the heroic response.

If you want to grow, you have to be intentional.  What’s your plan for growth? What do you do every day to ensure that you are growing?

Most people live their entire life and never plan to intentionally grow.

There are no secrets to success: You don’t have to do it all day.  You do have to do it every day.  The 20 mile march, daily progress.  I don’t get to brush my teeth 7 times on a Sunday to make up for not brushing Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday…

(PS You may have already guessed: the read audience for this post is myself, to make myself go for a run today)

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No written word, no spoken plea
Can teach our youth what they should be
Nor all the books on all the shelves
Its what the teachers are themselves

Anonymous, quoted by John Wooden (at 4:12 in the video below)

What is True Success?

John Wooden’s simple answer:  to know you did your best.  It is not to win, it is not to accumulate material possessions, it is not to be famous, it is not to be better than another…  it is to know you did what you could do.  If his team won, but had not given their best he was disappointed   If his team lost, but they each knew that they had given of their best – he was a happy coach.

John Wooden, affectionately known as Coach, led UCLA to record wins that are still unmatched in the world of basketball. Throughout his long life, he shared the values and life lessons he passed to his players, emphasizing a concept of success that’s about much more than winning.

In my interviews of people that have achieved, it seems that they all share this concept of success.  Killian Jornet is a winner in ultra-running because he doesn’t do it for anyone else, he does it to test himself.  Miquel Suñer is a winner in open-water swimming because he doesn’t do it for anyone else, he does it to test himself.

In life we start where we are.  I often wish I was somewhere else, was a year or two ahead in my career, was a little bit younger/stronger/taller, had a bit more hair these days…  but I am not.  It does not serve me.  I can start where I am and take the best step that I can.  Nothing more is asked.

I have read massive quantities of ancient myth in 2012.  I have debated purpose with many people of many persuasions.  I am moving towards clarity around an idea that a meaningful life is based up a chosen sacrifice.

Success and The Chosen Sacrifice

Kilian pays the price that ultra-running charges.  He makes his chosen sacrifice.  He is committed, there is no half-measures.

A 50 Euro Note
photo credit: Images of Money

There is a little irish story about going “all-in”, committing 100%.

A man has had a pint or two of Guinness and needs the toilet.  He makes his way to the back of the pub.  He enters.  Approaches a urinal.  Begins his relief…  and a €5 note falls from his pocket into the urinal.

Just at this moment another guy enters the toilet.  He sees the €5 in the urinal, he sees the moment of indecision and he asks “You’ve got a problem.  What are you going to do?”

The man quickly takes out a €50 note and throws it in on top of the €5 that is soaked in the urinal.  He turns and says “there was no way I was getting piss on my hands for a €5, but for €55 I will do what it takes.”

What is your €50

The €50 is the chosen sacrifice.  The €5 was life’s contribution.  The €50 was his chosen sacrifice.  The meaning in a life comes from choosing this sacrifice.  Choosing to pay the full price willingly.  Not by waiting to see if life charges the price.