This weeks video is inspired by a book: The Road Less Travelled, by M. Scott Peck.

The book begins with the statement “Life is difficult”. It is my failure to understand this, believing that my life should be easy and problem-free that is the root of suffering.

Life is not meant to be easy, and is a series of problems which can either be handled or ignored.

Discipline is required to solve life’s problems rather than ignore them.  Discipline is made up of 4 aspects of how we chose to live our lives.

The 4 Aspects of Discipline:

  • Delaying gratification: Sacrificing present comfort for future gains.
  • Acceptance of responsibility: Accepting responsibility for one’s own decisions.
  • Dedication to truth: Honesty, both in word and deed.
  • Balancing: Handling conflicting requirements. Scott Peck writes of an important skill to prioritize between different requirements – bracketing.

Carl Jung, said “neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.” Neurotics make themselves miserable; those with character disorders make everyone else miserable. Everyone is neurotic or character-disordered at some time in their life, and the balance is to have a structure and relationships in your life than can help you see your lack of balance before you hurt yourself (or others).

Dedication to the truth represents the capacity of an individual to modify and update their worldview when exposed to new information discordant with the old view. Dedication to truth implies a life of genuine self-examination, a willingness to be personally challenged by others, and honesty to oneself and others.

Really coming to terms with oneself is very hard and painful work. Most people prefer to complain about their pain and continue their self-destructive patterns than to take up the challenging task of constructing a self and a life they could really live with.

 

This is the detailed guide to boring others. In this video from Portugal, I share the 5 best ways that you can develop an ability to bore the people around you.

The 5 Specific Areas to Develop to Be Boring

  1. Negative Attitude
  2. No Interest in Others
  3. Stay in your Comfort Zone
  4. Be a People Pleaser
  5. No Social Awareness

The 4 Areas to Develop to be Deeply Interesting

  1. Find a Cause to Support
  2. Take Courageous Leaps of Faith (help others)
  3. Get out and Explore this World
  4. Cultivate Weirdness 

 

This video is about Innovation and the 3 types of innovation as described by Ferran Adrià, the world’s best chef.  He tells us that there are 3 levels of innovation… and that it is type 3 innovation that really moves humanity through a step change in progress.

Read more on Innovation on the blog:

This video is about Building Trust – and how building Trust will Improve Relationships and the Enhance the Quality of our Lives. After you have food and shelter, it is the quality of the relationships that really make your life. Relationships are about trust. Where there is no trust, there is no relationship.

I’d love to hear your comments, thoughts, reflections and questions on this and the other educational videos on my channel.

I wrote a few years ago a longer post on The Trust Equation: https://conorneill.com/2011/11/17/trust/

How do you Increase Trust?

In order to Increase Trust =

  • Increase Perception of Credibility or
  • Increase Perception of Reliability or
  • Increase Intimacy or
  • Reduce Perception of Self-Orientation.

Ways to increase Perception of Credibility:

  • Tell the truth.
  • Don’t exaggerate.
  • Avoid saying things that others may see as lies (eg “We’ll put our best people on it”)
  • If you don’t know, say “I don’t know”. Quickly.
  • If you don’t belong, don’t go.
  • Do your homework.
  • Care about the work.

Ways to increase Perception of Reliability:

  • Make specific small commitments and deliver 100%.
  • Send meeting materials in advance.
  • Make sure meetings have clear goals, and that those goals are met.
  • Use the words your listener would use.
  • Review agendas for meetings.
  • Re-confirm events 24 hours before.

Ways to Increase Intimacy:

  • Ask insightful questions.
  • Share first.

Ways to Reduce Perception of Self-Orientation:

  • Ask questions.
  • Listen and paraphrase without adding anything.
  • Resist the need to fill silences.
  • Focus on defining the problem, not guessing the solution.
  • Say “I don’t know” if you don’t know.
  • Take responsibility for failed communications (Say “I have failed to communicate clearly”, not “You don’t understand“)
  • Think as if you were completely responsable for this person’s future success in all aspects that are important to the other person.
  • Care about the work. If you don’t care about the work, it is inevitable that you will focus more on yourself. Low self orientation is all about intensity of your commitment to help your listener.

I have worried for too much of my life about whether I am a success or not.

This video shares the simplest and most empowering definition of success that I have found.  It comes from Pema Chodron.  It is a wonderful reflection for me about how I am living my life.

Am I learning to forgive myself and to be a positive addition when I am with other people?

Thank you for your comments, reflections, shares and likes!

with Rich Mulholland at EO GLC 2017

This guy is going to be big.  Rich is an entrepreneur, author and keynote speaker.  He tells powerful short little stories with impact though his videos.  I had a chance to do a short interview with Rich during the Entrepreneurs’ Organisation Global Leadership Conference in Frankfurt recently.

PS I think you really should subscribe to Rich’s YouTube Channel, you will lose out on lots of lessons if you don’t!

Here’s our 11 minute interview from Frankfurt…

 

This is an interview that I recorded with Christoph Magnussen during the EO Global Leadership Conference recently. It is part of a series of video blogs that Christoph is producing called: WorkDay Vlog.

Christoph has some great videos on his channel Workday Vlog and Worktools  – covering the new way of work, cloud tools for your company (office 365 vs Google Apps), the life of a tech entrepreneur.

The Making of the Interview

In a new move for the youtube video creator community… we actually have a short facebook live “the making of” video of myself watching Christoph getting ready for the shoot:

Were you at the EO GLC?  What did you learn?  What lesson will you take home and put into your business and into your local chapter?

This is a story about a lost tribe in Papua New Guinea.

They were brought to the city of Singapore and shown skyscrapers, airports, factories, supermarkets, homes and life. When they were on their way back to their mountain village, they were asked: “What is the most incredible thing you have seen during your days in Singapore?”.

Watch this video to hear their answer…

If you are reading this via email, the video is here: The Story of the Wheelbarrow: We are blind to anything beyond our imagination

What makes them so effective in moving audiences to commit to action? Why is there currently an explosion of story courses, story gurus, business storytellers?

If you are reading this via email, you can watch the video on the blog: Why do Stories work in Persuasion?

What is a Story?

We think of stories as a creative art form but within that creativity there is a lot of structure. The building blocks of great Stories are predictable.

I have written extensively on how to tell great stories, the shapes of stories, what is a story, 7 steps to a great story.

If you haven’t already, check out my TED talk…

My TED talk is coming up to 400k views: “The Discipline of Finishing: Conor Neill at TEDxUniversidaddeNavarra”

Getting out of your Comfort Zone.

I’m on a Sunday hike with Florian and his son Alvaro. We’re on our way toward the restaurant for lunch, when we find the river is overflowing and the foot bridge is under fast flowing water…  What do we do?

Are you waiting for permission? For the important things in life, there is nobody who can give you the permission that you need.

There comes a moment when you must commit even though you lack clarity.

“If you knew how to achieve it and could guarantee success: it is a task, not a dream” Alden Mills

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