How can you influence people who are close to you without impacting the quality of your relationship?

  • What do you do to influence a behaviour of your child?
  • How do you speak to a friend with an addiction that is affecting their life?
  • How can you help a family member with a poor habit that is affecting their quality of life?

How to Influence People who are Close to you (without damaging the relationship)

Michael Pendelton of Yale University has spent many years looking at how families can intervene in the life of a loved one with an addiction problem and achieve lasting positive change. He has shown that long term, forcing change will not work.

There are 3 ingredients that are necessary to achieve lasting change in a person who is challenged with an addiction.

Let me know in the comments below what you think of Michael’s influencing strategy?  Is it realistic?  Can you see it working in your relationships?

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it’s fame and money, you’re not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you’re mistaken.

What is the Most Important Aspect of a Happy Life?

pablo (12)It is the quality and depth of your relationships that make all the difference…  to health, to brains, to overall life happiness.

Good close relationships are good for our health and our happiness.  Here’s Robert Waldinger’s TED talk:

As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

Why is it hard?

We often look for quick fixes.  There are no relationship quick fixes.  Relationships take lifelong, constant effort.  You must actively work to keep the important relationships in your life strong.

What does leaning in to relationships look like?  Do something new together.  Reach out to the family regularly.  Listen and share.  Reach out without reason to friends.  Pick up the phone and meet.