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How do I become a better listener? Become aware of what level you are listening at.

There are 5 levels of listening:

  1. not listening
  2. hearing the noise, waiting for silence
  3. hearing the words, preparing my response
  4. hearing the meaning from my point of view
  5. hearing the emotion, meaning and point of view of the other person.

Level 5 requires complete attention and is very tiring. It is not necessary that you always listen at this level.

There are times my daughter is talking and she just needs to know that I am here in the room with her. There are other moments when she is sharing something important that has happened and will benefit from level 5 listening.

It is too tiring to always listen at level 5.