What is charisma?   Charisma means “special gift” in Greek.  It is something that allows some people to magnetically attract others to them and their projects.

Is it innate or can it be learnt?  According to John Antonakis, Marika Fenley and Sue Liechti in the Harvard Business Review June 2012 article “Learning Charisma”, it is learnt.

How to Learn Charisma

“After executives were trained in these tactics, the leadership ratings observers gave them rose by about 60%.” John Antonakis

Learn these 17 Specific Charismatic Tactics

  1. Metaphors, Similes and Analogies
  2. Stories and Anecdotes
  3. Contrasts
  4. Rhetorical Questions
  5. Three Part Lists
  6. Expressions of Moral Conviction
  7. Reflection of Group’s Sentiments
  8. The setting of High Goals
  9. Conveying Confidence in High Goals
  10. Animated Voice
  11. Facial Expressions
  12. Gestures
  13. Create a Sense of Urgency
  14. Invoking History
  15. Using Repetition
  16. Talking about Sacrifice
  17. Humour

Practice these tactics with video (check out my email based course to lead you through 10 weeks of practice).  Practice these tactics with your peers.  Practice leads to doubling the usage of these tactics in everyday life.  Use of these tactics led to ratings of competence increasing by 60%.

These tactics work because they create an emotional connection between speaker and audience.

Check out the HBR June 2012 article Learning Charisma.

Screen Shot 2016-03-25 at 16.38.35Keynote: The 3 Keys for Entrepreneurial Success

When I was 14 years old, my grandfather told me that “Success is earning more than your father.”  This talk shares how my definition of success has changed over the next 3 decades of my life.  My definition today…  listen at the end of the speech.

What is success?  What are the 3 key ingredients of a person who can have a successful life as an entrepreneur?  Watch the video here on my blog or Watch on Facebook.

Questions for You…

Who is the first person that comes to your mind when you think about success? Who is that person? What is about them that makes you think of them?

Does it surprise you which person comes to your mind?

Re-sharing an old article of mine…

I wrote an article for myself in 2009 when I had faced 2 major setbacks. This was to remind me of what is important. I’ll share the article again here below:

17 Daily Habits for a Fulfilling Life

Conor Neill, February 2009

This is a compilation of habits that I have seen in the lives of people who have achieved things and felt satisfied and fulfilled with the way their life has progressed.  I often get asked the question “is this for a book?”.  I don’t know.  I teach MBAs and often am asked over a coffee “what should I do with my life?” or “how can I be a success?” to which my answers are often in the form of questions – but this project hopefully will move me towards a better answer when asked these questions. 

An entrepreneur friend recently commented to me an early conversation he had with a mentor “Alex, you have great potential”.  “Thanks.”  “Do you know what great potential means?  You ain’t don’t nothing yet”.  What does it take to turn potential into fulfilment?

I look forward to your comments, reflections, disagreements, personal experiences and outright criticisms.  

Conor Neill

 

Goal setting, Dreams – Goals – Actions

We know what we need to do to be successful, but why do so few people manage to sustain the habits of regularly dedicating time to the activities that will bring them success?  Why do we sabotage ourselves?

A nice thought about something you might like to have is a dream.  A dream written down and clearly visualised is a goal.  A tangible, measurable step written down and committed to is an action.  You will not achieve a dream if you don’t systematically work through the actions that lead to the goals that lead to the dream.  Dream – have a book published.  Goal – complete first draft of book by 31/1/2010.  Action – write 1000 words on goal setting.

A writer is somebody who finds writing harder than anybody else.  My brother Aidan – set a goal 60 weeks ago – publish a blog article every Monday before 9:00am – and has consistently met it except for 2 weeks – the week his son was born and the week his son was in hospital with a worrying stomach condition.  How?  He made a verbal commitment to many of his friends.  He said to his wife that he would give her €100 every time he failed to publish by 9:00am.  He has paid 3 times (once he published the blog 20 minutes late).

We need accountability partners (sadly we are less likely to cheat on our goals if committed to a friend than just to ourself).  The top performers all have coaches; it is too difficult to sustain high performance without help. 

Malcolm Gladwell in the book Outliers made popular the idea that becoming excellent requires 10,000 hours of practice.  Your genes, your natural talent, luck becomes irrelevant when you achieve 10,000 hours.  In what will you spend the next 5 years accumulating your 10,000 hours of practice? 

Most people never accrue 10,000 hours in anything.  Will you make the commitment to excellence, the commitment to mastery?

Calendar Management (Pomodoro Technique, Rhythm); Self Discipline

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret” Jim Rohn

Routine sets you free.  Routines can break the tendency to procrastination (“quieting the lizard brain” Seth Godin).

Pomodoro technique – get a timer that clearly counts down 25 minute intervals.  Take your to-do list.  Prioritise number 1 important item.  Estimate number of 25 minute intervals.  Set the timer and work on the first timer.  Any interruption, reset the timer to 25.  At the end of a pomodoro take a proper 7 minute break.  After 4 take a 25 minute break.  How many pomodoros can you achieve in a day?

Self discipline has been shown to be an “expendable” resource.  In order to have the greatest ability to maintain self discipline, we need to get enough sleep, face our anxieties, take time out to relax as well.

Fit mind and body (Energy)

Survey of centurions (people who live to 100) – two things in common:

  1. they exercise every day and
  2. they have a project which they must survive in order to complete.

“Sharpen the saw”  Steven Covey

You only have one body – take time for repairs.  Take time to strengthen it.  Take time to rest it.  Keep fit, play sport, enjoy walking, don’t wait for the heart attack to let you know that you need to eat healthy, keep fit. 

Personal Vision

“What on Earth am I here for?”  Wrong Question – meaning is not to be found inside ourselves – “What do my parents, friends, family, society need from me?  How can I best help others?

Jesus Christ once said, “Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.”

What drives you?  Guilt?  Resentment?  Fear?  Materialism?  Approval?  Social comparison?

The Arbinger Institute distinguish between two forms of emotional living – “In the box” vs “Out of the box”.  “In the box” is reactive – your emotions are reactions to world and people around you.  If someone is late to your meeting, you are angry.  Out of the Box is that you are proactive about emotion – you choose the emotion that best serves the current moment.  You don’t react to people, but seek to understand what is happening in their life, what they are seeking, what they are lacking.  

Henry David Thoreau observed that people live lives of “quiet desperation,” but today a better description is aimless distraction. Many people are like gyroscopes, spinning around at a frantic pace but never going anywhere.

We are products of our past, but do not have to be prisoners of it.

George Bernard Shaw wrote, “This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

Do you have a clear understanding of your values?  Have you spent some time reflecting on what is important to you?  Who are your role models that have lived these values in a strong way?

Why do many cancer survivors look back on the cancer as a gift? – they live the rest of their lives with a true understanding of how short a time we have and what is really important in the time we have.  The unimportant drops away and leaves a powerful clarity and focus.

Communication in concise terms of your personal, company, project, goal vision. You are always selling.  People sign up for vision, fun and principle.

“We die”.  What will you do the last hour?  Who will be there?  Who will you want to speak to?  What would you say?

In the book “Superfreakonomics” there is a chapter that shows a high correlation with the arrival of television and an increase in crime.  The authors examine various hypothesis, but essentially find no link except a speculation that the arrival of TV also was the arrival of powerful advertisement campaigns that transmit the idea that “buy this product” = “get this life”.  The purchase of a €2 coca cola is not the purchase of sugar, water and some cola flavour in a red can…  No, it is access to a life full of exciting friends, fun parties and meaningful interaction.  The purchase of a car is not the purchase of a vehicle to get from A to B, it is access to a lifestyle.  You are not happy now, but the mere purchase of the right set of goods will transform your life into one of fulfilment.  This leads to frustrated people.  We believe the ads, but they are selling falsehood.   No thing, no object, no achievement will fundamentally change how you feel about yourself – only you can decide to change how you feel about life.

Integrity – build trust, reliability (“Its a small world”)

Are values worthwhile because they provide a ROI or are they valuable only in that they allow you to sleep well every night?  Warren Buffett – why is Integrity his number 1 criteria for selecting people in whom to invest?

Aristotle believed that if an individual did not internalise an ethical value system before the age of 12 they would never really “feel” the need to live their values.

Finances in Order

Delayed gratification is necessary.  Nobody soaked in debt will ever be able to generate the focus to deliver impact in the important areas of their life.

The test that has most correlation with success in life is a simple test devised by psychologists.  They bring a child into a room and sit them down.  The child is presented with a sweet.  The adult then says that they need to leave the room.  The child is most welcome to eat the sweet, but if it is still there when the adult returns, the child will receive 2 sweets.  50% of children cannot resist temptation and eat the one sweet, losing the opportunity to double their outcomes.  The children that don’t eat the sweet do not sit there staring at it – they have learnt to avoid looking at the temptation, they have learnt strategies to manage themselves.

Accumulate education => Accumulate capital => Generate income => Grow expenses inside the limit of passive income.  Freedom = passive income > expenses.  Slave = 90% income as salary.  Keep expenses low, generate assets.

Balanced, enriching social life

Choose your friends.  You will become who you spend most time with.

What is the most satisfying thing you can do for:

  • €10?
  • €100?
  • €1000?

Happiness: It is all about shared experiences + intentional giving.

Unhappiness: it is all about comparing yourself to others, what you have, what you don’t have. What would you rescue from your house if you could only save one thing?  (95% choose photos).  Not plasma TV, not furniture.

Strong close relationships – Marriage, Family, Kids

Quality time vs time in the same room.  Intimacy.  Requires work to deepen relationships and maintain powerful connections.  It does not happen automatically – we are not genetically prepared to establish deep intimate relationships.

Resilience (Head in the sky, Feet on the ground)

Healthy balance between Principles and Pragmatism.  Get good at ignoring the little things.  Don’t wrestle with pigs.  You will get dirty, you will lose and the pig enjoys it.

Self Motivation, Self Esteem, Self Belief

You see what you are looking for.  Ask the right questions.  Change “why does this happen to me?” to “What am I grateful for today?”

Get good at motivating yourself.  We are not computers – we are neurons floating in a sea of hormones and we need to be careful what hormones we let flood our brain – it will change what we see and believe.

“The only source of good knowledge is bad experience” Tom Peters

Climbing Everest, you will not always be going uphill.  Sometimes there are periods of downhill, but it is a necessary part of the journey.  Farmers don’t blame the winter – they accept that it will always come around and prepare to plant seeds in Spring.

Survive => Thrive.  We are first generation that survival is guaranteed.  We are first generation where thrive is the aim – and we don’t have any history or knowledge or family role models that can guide us in a world where you really can avoid most hardships.

The person who says “poor me” has clearly got low self esteem.  The person who says “I am the greatest” is also likely to have low self esteem. 

Self Acceptance

You are the best you in the world.  You will be a terrible somebody else. 

“The reward for conformity is that everybody likes you except yourself” Rita Mae Brown

It is only in the tough times that you reach into yourself and truly see what is important to you.  In the easy times you lose yourself as you compare to everybody else – and lose clarity of what you will know is important when death is imminent.  The sharpest steel is forged in the hottest furnaces.

Fun

Life is too short to not laugh regularly.

Be accessible and approachable.

Mentors and Advisors (Life Strategy)

Have a list. Find your way to ask them.  Nick Luckock – “Apax doesn’t invest in first time entrepreneurs – they don’t yet know how much help they will need from others and how they can ask for it”.

The ideal mentor is someone who you respect, can connect with on a personal level, and who is willing to impart their knowledge. But don’t expect them to solve all your problems.

“A mentor’s role is to help you to make sense of your own experiences” Professor D Megginson

Talking to someone who’s been through a similar experience or has achieved something that you would like to achieve will be constructive.

Coach (Accountability and Balance)

Cormac and his personal trainer: “I only work with the best”.   

“I have no time for people not prepared to do the hard work.” All Great Coaches…

Permission to hold me accountable for my own actions.

Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell all have two things in common – they have been leaders of their respective fields, and they each have a coach.  The best in the world have coaches.  Is it coincidence?  We are not strong enough mentally to keep up the hard work and discipline over the long haul to reach excellence.  We need people around us who hold us accountable and push us to stretch.  Tony Nadal, the coach of Rafa Nadal, says that his role is to ensure “Effort and Commitment” – not tennis skills, not better strokes, not how to get fit.

Giving

Auschwitz – 1 in 30 survived the camp.  Victor Frankl was one.  Why did some survive and others not?  It was not random.  The prisoners received bread rations only sufficient to keep them barely alive, yet some prisoners would take half of their bread and give it to someone that they saw needed it more than them.  Those that ate all of their bread survived a time.  Those that shared their meagre ration of bread were able to truly live.  You can take everything away from a man except his ability to choose his response to any given situation.

Victor Frankl developed the Logotherapy process to help people find the ultimate meaning for their life, to find “a why that can overcome any how”.  There are three types of ultimate meaning:

  1. Serving others
  2. A Unique Contribution
  3. Finding Meaning in the Suffering Itself

Giving with intention, giving what is special to you. 

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give” Winston Churchill

Getting others to do stuff for you

“Leadership is Vision with bullying” Professor Brian Leggett

A vision without execution is idealism.  Execution without vision is bullying.

Volunteer for charities, clubs.  It is here that you will learn to lead.  Create change = upset someone, connect people, lead people.

Reflection, Time to Think (Separation of Now and Future) “What have we learnt?”

Incremental improvement almost always wins.

Meditation – why?  Does it really provide the impact that many of its proponents suggest?  Commit to 10 days of self development activity every year.

“We’ll pluck significance from the least consequential happenstance if it suits us and happily ignore the most flagrantly obvious symmetry between separate aspects of our lives if it threatens some cherished prejudice or cosily comforting belief; we are blindest to precisely whatever might be most illuminating”. Iain Banks, Transition, Patient 8262.

 

A fulfilling life?

  • Impact = Self Understanding + Personal Habits + Social Systems
  • Life = Work + Social + Relationship + Logos (Meaning/Spiritual)
  • Success = Impact + Luck

Why worry?  It should all come together in the end shouldn’t it?  Life should naturally turn out well.  I don’t like exactly where I am right now, but in a few years it will be better.  Doesn’t it just happen like that?

I read Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres when I was 23 years old.  It changed an idea I had about life. It scared me greatly. 

The book tells the story of an lieutenant that is stationed on a Greek Island as part of the Italian occupation during the second world war.  He gets to know the locals and falls in love with the daughter of a villager.  They enjoy happy times together.  The Allied forces take back control of Greece, and the Italian army beats a hasty retreat.  Our lieutenant has to depart but he and the Greek girl promise that he will return after the war.  Three years later, the war ends, peace arrives and our lieutenant, after years in camps and on the run, finally can make his way back to the Greek island.  He travels to Greece, catches the ferry to island and walks towards the village.  He reaches the village in the late afternoon and is walking up the final stretch of hill up towards the centre of the village.  He sees a woman in the square, his Greek girl.  She is holding a baby in her arms.  The lieutenant turns and walks away, never returning.  He travels the world.  Each Christmas the girl receives a postcard from some spot in the world – always anonymous and with no return address. 

After many, many years, the man decides that he cannot live without seeing the girl at least one more time.  He is now in his 60s.  He makes his way to Greece, catches the ferry and repeats his journey of 35 years before.  He walks to the village.  He is walking up the hill towards the square and meets a young local boy.  He asks “does Pelagia still live here?”. The boy says “I don’t know any Ioanna”.  The man reflects and thinks.  “She will be old now, 60.  She was the daughter of Iannis”. The boy responds “that bitter old woman?  She lives slightly outside the village” and indicates the house.  Our lieutenant gets to the door and knocks.  When the door opens, the girl who is now an old woman stands for a few seconds in shock and then hits him with all of her force and slams the door shut.  He knocks and knocks and finally she opens. “Why did you do this to me?  Why did you abandon me?”.  “I saw you with a baby, I thought you had a baby, thought you had married, had found someone else…  I didn’t want to stir up…”  “Why?  Why didn’t you ask?  It was my sister’s baby.  I was babysitting”.

Before I read this book I had the idea that life was like a 10 pin bowling alley when it is set up for a kid’s party.  They put foam into the gutters so that all of the balls will reach the end and take down at least a pin or two.  After reading the story, I realised that life does not have this foam protection.  Life has big gutters, and it is quite possible to put my life into the gutter and not hit a single pin.

Never too Late to start

The positive thing is that it is never too late to start living the life we want.  Life’s gutters are all in my mind. The past is gone Today I can decide to head a new direction, and the final destination changes.  I only need change course by one degree and I may make a massive change in the new destination that I will reach and what will happen on the journey.

Jim Rohn says “It is possible to design and live an extraordinary life”.  We measure life in hours, days, weeks and years – but this is not the right measure.  Life is experiences.  There are people that live 200 years of experiences in 40 years of life,  and there are people who don’t live even a single year of experiences in 90 years of clock time. 

“We die”. This is how the Cluetrain manifesto begins.

The human lifespan is 650,000 hours.  One of those hours is your last hour.  One of those days is your last day.  This is an inevitability of life.  We all will die.  In that last moment, what will we have with us?  Nothing.  What will we leave?  What will we remember?  What will flash through our minds?  What will it take so that in that moment, God turns and looks and says “now there is someone who really used the opportunity I gave her”?

Steven Covey says “Begin with the End in Mind”.  Our end is a day where we face the end.  No more opportunities.  Our obituary will be written.  What will it say? 

Alfred Nobel had a unique view of his obituary while alive.  He was one of three brothers.  When Alfred was 55, one of his brother’s died.  The newspapers confused the brothers and the next day’s edition came out with an obituary of Alfred.  He had the unique opportunity of reading his own obituary at the age of 55; and he really did not like it.  He was the inventor and mass producer of dynamite.  Reading his obituary was the inspiration to change his life and leave a different legacy.  Today we have the Nobel peace prize – because Alfred was so gutted to see that his legacy was going to be death and destruction that he spent the rest of his life creating the greatest current symbol of peace. 

Aristotle said “we are what we habitually do”.  If something is important, you must do it every day.  If you say, “I will take some time next year and do that” – you will never do it.  If something is important and will be part of our legacy it needs to be done every day and become routine.

“Carpe Diem. Momento Mori.”  Seize the day. Remember we must die.

In ancient Rome, the words “Carpe Diem. Momento Mori” are believed to have been used on the occasions when a Roman general was parading through the streets during a victory triumph. Standing behind the victorious general was his slave, who was tasked to remind the general that, though his highness was at his peak today, tomorrow he could fall or be more likely brought down. The servant conveyed this by telling the general that he should remember, “Memento mori.”  This finds ritual expression in the Catholic rites of Ash Wednesday when ashes are placed upon the worshipers’ heads with the words “Remember Man that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.”

Begin with the end in mind.

Success doesn’t come overnight, but neither does failure.

pablo (15)

We plant seeds every day, seeds of success and seeds of failure. Some seeds take years to grow – lack of exercise doesn’t grow into the tree of ill health for many decades; €100 saved per month doesn’t grow into € millions for many decades.

Today a court case finished. It relates to a business I ran years ago. I signed a loan guarantee that I should not have signed… but in the boom years of 2007-2008 it felt rude to say no to this clause in the contract… a bad decision. I had a sense that it was wrong when I was signing the deal back in 2007. Now I feel the fruits of that poorly judged seed of failure. I hope there is only one piece of fruit from that poor seed.

Most seeds require good soil and cultivation to grow. Both seeds of failure and seeds of success don’t grow without our help.

Most of the successes that I enjoy this year are the fruits of seeds that were planted years ago. People that I met years ago and have kept in contact for years, and now they ask me to come and work with their company.

The Most Important Seeds: People We Meet

I think the most important seeds of success are the people we meet. One person can change our whole life.  This idea struck me today when I read Michael’s blog post: Creating the Perfect Elevator Pitch.  His exact words:

"The beauty of life is that one conversation can change your world.  One “yes” can make all the difference.  One conversation, one introduction, one chance encounter is sometimes all it takes.  Life can turn on a dime, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there and be ready for those conversations for this change to occur." Read More...

Dwight Eisenhower was very close to formal discharge from the military when he met and impressed General George C. Marshall. That one meeting transformed his whole life. Instead of piece-work in a factory, he went on to be Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces and then a 2 term US President.  (Read the Eisenhower story here).

I wonder whether we can know who we will meet today that could have this big transformational impact on our future life? Can we know? It could be a young student in one of my MBA programs. It could be anyone. I suspect the more that I think I can identify who it will be, the more wrong I will become.

So, I guess the answer is to be open to each person that I meet today. To see them not for who they are today, but to know that in each person lies such enormous potential should they choose to apply themselves.

Who have you met today?  Who did you listen to today?

The following is part of an email I received from Noah Kagan, entrepreneur and founder of Appsumo.  You can read the full email on his Okdork.com blog.  Personally I get plenty of requests for help/connections/ideas/reviews, and this particular process might help me say yes to a few more requests…

Over to Noah:

Question 5: How can I get an influencer to respond to my emails?

Make the email about them. We ALL know this but we don’t do it.

Here’s my sequence for emailing anyone.

1- Send an email NOT about you.

Subject: Huge fan of your work

Body:

Noah,
{flattery} Really love the email you sent last week.
{result} I bought that product and it made a huge impact in my life.
{thanks} Keep doing awesome stuff.
{your name} Noah

2- Send follow up a week later (this one is key and where you can ask for something)

Subject: Quick question Noah

{compliment} Hope you are doing amazing.
{ask} Had a 9-second question about marketing. Mind if I email it over?
{your name} Noah

Things to note:

1- Anyone worth reaching is getting TONS of random emails.
2- Keep emails brief and digestible in under 10 seconds.
3- FOLLOW UP is key. If they don’t respond, send a reply email saying BUMP. This has been crucial for me.

Pro tip: Before you send your email, post it in a google doc and have a couple friends review/edit/leave comments.

Thanks, Noah, for sharing.

 

…not where you would like them to be.

I spent over 10 years building entrepreneurial ventures that had a lot of selling involved (insurance, business services, restaurant franchises, aeroplanes).

Fish Where the Fish Are

I met a young entrepreneur last week at Startupbootcamp.  He told me “I am not good at sales”.  I said “What do you mean?”.  He said that he can’t seem to keep prospects interested.  I asked him how he selected his target prospects.  He returned a blank stare.

I said “do you try to sell to everyone you meet?”

He didn’t say anything but the body language was saying “well, yes of course”

This is how to die young as a salesperson.  

My daughter loves fishing.  To be honest, she loves the idea that she has of fishing, rather than the reality of fishing.  We have a small cottage by the beach in Costa Brava and often we will go and spend some time “fishing”.  I don’t really want to catch anything, I just want to chill out with her while we watch the sea and the sun setting and the changes of nature.  She wants to catch fish.

If I want to catch fish I go to one place.  If I don’t fancy cleaning and gutting a fish, I go to other places.

The place where I go to fish is the place where the fish are.

The place where I go to not fish, is any place that the fish are not.

Fishing Well, Selling Well

Fish wisely:  “Fish where the fish are” – not randomly, or where you would like to be.

Selling to a person who is not the M.A.N. is a waste of breath.  M is money, A is authority and N is need.  If the MAN is not in the room, be polite and leave.

Find People who Want to Change

Who are your best clients?  Where can you find more?  Target well. 

In my aviation business we discovered that the people that were most happy to regularly meet were often competitors interested in learning about our business (and copying our brochures, contracts and process). We learnt to be very careful and take time to bring prospects through a long (2-4 months) process before we would actually pitch the deal and put a contract in front of them.  It made a real difference – not only in more effective sales, but in a major improvement in my personal motivation and enjoyment of the sales process.

Photo Credit: Nicolas Valentin

Over the last 10 years I have increasingly moved from product businesses towards a services business.

In the world of private jets we had simple rules: if the trip is not paid, the plane doesn’t leave.  It was policy, not decision.

In the world of coaching leaders to build cultures of disciplined high performance, there is often a wide grey area between free discussion and paid consulting.  I find it very difficult to mark that line clearly.  I love talking about psychology and high performance and getting the best out of people.  I am interested.

My landlord only accepts money for rent.  Not good intention.  So I have to do the same myself.

6 Steps to Stop Being “Free”

  1. Be clear on the results you can help them achieve – Can you explain what success looks like in a clear, concise, specific and compelling way?  in language that your target customers can really understand?
  2. Show testimonials, examples, logos of past successes – capture testimonials and make them as specific as possilble
  3. Find common passions or interests (liking) – build relationships that are broader than pure business
  4. Respect yourself – know where you draw your line (Let the prospective client know that you are the most capable, dedicated and solution-oriented consultant they will find and that you normally charge X-amount for your time.)
  5. Blog, write, speak, publish – direct your potential client there rather than give custom answers – thought leadership is free, customising the advice for a specific person and access to you should be expensive
  6. Ask for the sale – Make yourself a product, set clear prices – and ask for the sale.  “Look, I think you value my advice – lets set up a 6 month deal – two meetings per month for €XX”

More on the fine line between free and paid consulting

  • http://www.entrepreneur.com/blog/224949#ixzz2pby0SyXg

 

Nick Morgan, founder of Public Words, and one of the worlds top communications coaches, put together the Body Language infographic.  It answers questions such as:

  • How many seconds does it take for us to judge another person?
  • What are the 6 universal emotional signals?
  • How to disagree without making an enemy?
  • How to deal with an angry colleague?
  • How to ask your boss for a raise?

The Body Language Infographic

Check out Nick Morgan’s body language infographic below:

Gengo_body_language_ot

Reposted from http://publicwords.com/the-body-language-infographic/

Are your people engaged?

  1. People consistently put in extra effort beyond what is expected.
  2. People are highly motivated to contribute to the success of the organisation.
  3. People consistently look for more efficient and effective ways of getting the job done.
  4. People have a strong sense of personal accomplishment from their work.
  5. People understand how their roles help the organisation meet its goals.
  6. People always have a positive attitude when performing their duties at work.
  7. Leaders do a good job of recognising contributions.

From the book The Carrot Principle.  Read the page here.

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What does it take to be a great public speaker?

London Speaker Bureau has put it all together on a pretty page.  From content to delivery, from startings to endings and from logos to ethos to pathos, its all here in this infographic.

The London Speaker Bureau represent and work with some of the most influential people in the world, from politicians and economists to thought leaders and entrepreneurs.  Between them, they cover a vast range of topics, from management and finance to technology, education, innovation and the environment

If you’ve ever wanted a beautiful poster size infographic to guide your development as a persuasive speaker, this is the one.

9 Steps to Public Speaking Expertise

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Hat tip to Joe Shervell.

I love this idea that I came across in an interview with Matthew Lieberman at Edge.org.

He speaks of an old 1960’s idea called “Latitude of Acceptance”.  He defines it better than I, so I’ll pretty much take his text verbatim:

Matthew Lieberman on Latitudes of Acceptance

Matthew Lieberman, UCLA Professor of Psychology
Matthew Lieberman, UCLA Professor of Psychology

“I’ll tell you about my new favorite idea, which like all new favorite ideas, is really an old idea. This one, from the 1960s, was used only in a couple of studies. It’s called “latitude of acceptance”. If I want to persuade you, what I need to do is pitch my arguments so that they’re in the range of a bubble around your current belief; it’s not too far from your current belief, but it’s within this bubble. If your belief is that you’re really, really anti-guns, let’s say, and I want to move you a bit, if I come along and say, “here’s the pro-gun position,” you’re actually going to move further away. Okay? It’s outside the bubble of things that I can consider as reasonable.

We all have these latitudes around our beliefs, our values, our attitudes, which teams are ok to root for, and so on, and these bubbles move. They flex. When you’re drunk, or when you’ve had a good meal, or when you’re with people you care about versus strangers, these bubbles flex and move in different ways. Getting two groups to work together is about trying to get them to a place where their bubbles overlap, not their ideas, not their beliefs, but the bubbles that surround their ideas. Once you do that, you don’t try to get them to go to the other position, you try to get them to see there’s some common ground that you don’t share, but that you think would not be a crazy position to hold.

There’s the old Carlin bit about when you drive on the road: anyone going faster than me is a maniac and anyone going slower than me is a jerk. That that’s the way we live our lives. We’re always going the right speed, and everybody else is missing the boat. We don’t take into account that I’m going fast today because I’ve got to get to the hospital, or I’m going slow today because I know I had something to drink, and I shouldn’t have, so I’m going to drive real slow. We don’t take those things into account. We just think whatever I’m doing is the right thing, and we have to recognize there’s this space around those, and if we can find that overlap we can get some movement. And so that’s not a nudge idea, per se. It’s really about finding when people are in a mental space where they’re more open to other ideas, and what is often going on there is you’re trying on identities.

William James said long ago that we have as many identities as people that we know, and probably more than that. We are different with different people. I’m different with my son than I am with you. We have these different identities that we try on, and they surround us. With some friends I can be more of a centrist, and with other friends I might be more of a liberal, depending on what feels like it would work in that moment, and they can all be authentic positions that I really believe at different points in time. I’m really interested in looking at that as a mechanism of persuasion when it comes to regular old persuasion, when it comes to education, when it comes to public health, and when it comes to international issues as well. It’s finding that latitude of acceptance and finding out how to use it successfully.”

The original article is here: http://edge.org/conversation/latitudes-of-acceptance (the section on Latitudes of Acceptance is way down the bottom)

Aristotle and The Enthymeme

Aristotle spoke of the search for the Enthymeme – the point where my beliefs connect to your beliefs.  If you can find the enthymeme, you can build an argument that has a chance of persuading.  If you cannot find the enthymeme, then reason will not help build a bridge between your two positions.  The most important part of finding the enthymeme is finding out what is assumed as true for the audience.

The modern concept Latitudes of Acceptance captures this age-old idea of searching for the Enthymeme.

Point X and Latitudes of Acceptance

I have been a proponent for over a decade of starting all persuasive processes with your Point X.  What is a realistic, concrete and specific step that you want the audience to take at the end of your words?  If you can answer this first, you have a good chance of building a powerful persuasive speech.

Most persuasion fails here – it fails because we are unclear or unrealistic about what we ask of the audience.

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