This is the detailed guide to boring others. In this video from Portugal, I share the 5 best ways that you can develop an ability to bore the people around you.

The 5 Specific Areas to Develop to Be Boring

  1. Negative Attitude
  2. No Interest in Others
  3. Stay in your Comfort Zone
  4. Be a People Pleaser
  5. No Social Awareness

The 4 Areas to Develop to be Deeply Interesting

  1. Find a Cause to Support
  2. Take Courageous Leaps of Faith (help others)
  3. Get out and Explore this World
  4. Cultivate Weirdness 

 

It is not that you don’t go to enough “networking” events.

It is not that you don’t approach strangers at these “networking” events.

It is not that nobody ever told you that a strong network is important.

It is not that you have too few connections on LinkedIn or Facebook, or twitter or Google+.  (Connecting is not Networking.)

The #1 Reason

Is this: You only want something from me.

You don’t intend to help me.  You are there for you.

  • You’re not expert in anything useful to me.
  • You’re not connected to someone who can help me.
  • You have no experiences that are relevant to my challenges.
  • You aren’t funny enough to make me laugh.

If you do care…  the networking will take care of itself.  It is called reciprocity.  It works.

If someone asked you, “What is your job?”, what would your response be?  Go ahead, take a minute to think about your answer.  I asked a similar question a few weeks ago in my post Become Indispensable: Solve Interesting Problems)

Professor Fred Kofman tells a story about a question that changed his outlook on this question.

Did you say that you’re a coach? Entrepreneur? Do you manage operations? Maybe CEO?  Well, as Fred points out, what you think is your job is not actually your job.

Your Job is Not Your Job

Here is Fred’s presentation:

How do you answer now?

Did Fred change your mind?  (Fred’s full presentation is available here on youtube)

reid-hoffman-150x150
Reid Hoffman, Entrepreneur

Reid Hoffman says it took him 15 years after graduating from Stanford to figure out what he wanted to do with his career.

Hoffman eventually founded LinkedIn, a $19 billion public company.

On graduation, he thought he would become an academic. Then he started some companies.  Several failed…  then he created LinkedIn.  It didn’t fail 😉

What lessons can we learn from Hoffman’s journey?

Expanding on ideas from his recent book “The Startup of You”, Hoffman and his co-author created a slideshow presentation called “The 3 Secrets Of Highly Successful Graduates”.  The have graciously allowed me to republish it here.

What did you learn from Reid Hoffman?  What are the key capabilities for navigating successfully in the career seas of the future?

Daniel Shi gives a simple but profound answer to “How can I learn to be more Influential?” over on Quora:

I think that you can certainly become influential without having to do something “extraordinary.”

7 Steps to become more Influential

  1. Connect with many people. Learn that just because someone may not be important today, it doesn’t mean that he or she won’t be in the future. And even better if it is with your help.
  2. Remember people’s names and what you talked about. Have a repository in memory of what you talked about. Everybody you know has some request for help that you may be able to help them with. Have it cycling in your head as you go about meeting more people and encountering new things. When something clicks, act upon it. And that brings me to:
  3. Follow up. Find reasons to talk to people. Do this out of genuine desire to build relationships and to help people. Learn to tell the difference between being genuine and when you are being too forward.
  4. Develop a love of helping other people. See the success of other people as being your success, rather than a lost opportunity for you. If you help someone else out, they will remember you down the road.
  5. Don’t think of interactions with people as a one shot deal. You will no doubt meet that person again some day. You will have another interaction with them as well.
  6. Learn to communicate well. None of the above is really applicable if you find it difficult to craft a message.
  7. Be likeable, but not to everybody.

And of course, this is the most important lesson that I ever learned from my college accounting professor:

Your name is your most valuable asset.

Original Text: Quote of Daniel Shi’s answer to How can I become influential?

Further Reading

What do you think?